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    Monday, October 31, 2005 . Hols Coming...

    End of yr. hols comin, slacking. but slacking is fun lar. nth to do. sme ppl ask me, why I don't show my expressions, ya it sets me thinking too. but then i knew that i would only show it if im happy or sth lk tt, i'll do the crying in my heart. the disappointment at betrayal, the fate that sometimes you have to accept. I don't undderstand action language, so maybe sometimes my actions may set ppl wondering what im thinking. But they never succeed. lol. in the end there are more complications. And I HATE complications. ppl become hostile when they try to infer my actions as evil-boding. but sometimes, I don't mean anything. why cant life be just so simple? I'd rather suffer in silence than make it known to the ppl around me. ya. cos i know none who can help. sometimes i ask myself, are there any true friends in this world?

    I can solve a record of 56 socio-relationship problems within 3 years, but none of my own. Am I an idiot or what? U'll ask yourself that question when ur gf falls for your best friend. both are your friends. what shld you do? you want the best for them right? let them be happy? let them be together. ya, what can you do? yes, give them your best wishes, but do the crying in your heart. no use showing, as if they see it they will feel bad. sometimes, things have to be left to destiny, cos its ur fate, u have to accept it. love isin't sth u can fight for, like frrdom or like the rights of the people. it's a mutual thing, cant be fought for.

    Now I come to realise the use of the curse on me. whoever i try to accept as a close friend soon comes to distance himself without any reason. I was born with this curse. I had it simce young. So, I can't say that I have any close friends, only aquaintances, cos the people out there only care for themselves, and I detest such people, or they are of good character but I have the curse on me. someone just doesn't want me to learn the hard way of the saying " your best friend is your greatest enemy". so if you do not have a best friend, you will have one less great enemy, and one less person to hinder your success. but no use feeling sad lar, I'll just have to learn to live with it. but that won't change my character. nothing changes what I am, and I live by my balance.

    K, sth better, I got myself an elect guit! Ibanez GSA 60, Black. Cool man, u just gotta try the effects, they rock. and I mean they ROCK. k? Roland Cube 30 amp, with special effects. Got any songs worth learning or that have nice special effects? meddling wif special effects is fun lar. Cool. sme ppl r wanting me 2 bring it 2 the chalet, but im havin 2nd thts. bring n ppl will borrow n may risk spoiling. Danger. should I bring?K, nvm, sb juz recommend sme songs will b gd enuf.

    slashed at 12:29 PM .