had stomach flu ytd. vomitted. fever. now getting bttr le. fever went down. must hav got it from vic ba. it's the stupid 1DD thingy.. (1 Day of Damage) --__-- yea.. terrible feeling. but luckily it's just 1 day la. heh.
note to self. mum and dad are nice people. just tt sometimes, their words are a little harsh. but they really do care a lot for you. just that they've been brought up in an environment where people don't speak nice to each other. and maybe it's just cos i'm oversensitive to thoughts and emotions.
i'm quitting my other life. guess dad and mum did the right thing. i'd rather be a normal guy and be able to live my life without fear and walk on the streets freely. yea. sneak out with my flowerpot to someplace without having to worry about someone sneaking up to you. walk on the streets of some other country without having to look out for people who might wanna kill you. kinda treasure this life a little more. (:
yea, and cos of tt, i'll do wad my parents did for me, for my kids next time. and keep whatever secrets there is as secrets forever.
feeling a little better now. stomach flu sux.
yea, thanks vic. i recovered in 1 day. same symptoms. --__-- heh. yea, my immune system sux. talking to a guy with stomach flu for a few mins gives me stomach flu. goodness. nvm la. it's gone le. now to rush out econs.
slashed at 12:06 PM .
FD4. The Final Destination. hahax.. was quite cool ba.. esp in 3D. sth to take note, god's will is definitely very hard to change. when sb has to die, regardless of how far he runs, he still dies. heh. ok, i get the point. no matter how hard you try to correct some things you see in this world that are really wrong, they still will happen.. yea, it does give some closure on this issue. god wants balance, to prevent sth lk the tower of babel or so i heard. so tt ppl wun forget the significance of good in their lives..
maybe i was meant to learn abt it tdy. yea, shan't be too adamant about it. i'll try to take things slowly. and accept that some things somehow just can't be better than it should.. no more utopian ideaologies.. hahax..
mugging econs now. helpp.. bubble going pop.
slashed at 9:08 PM .
re-read ur letter tdy.. (: yea, it keeps me sane. thank youu.. =)
actually, just 2 things ba.. my love language isn't gifts, but physical touch. and tt's why i end up with so many flowerpots.. heh.. cos i just can't stand solidarity. but of course i'd rather be alone than be with people i have to act my life out consciously. puts too much strain on my mind. yea, i just need someone to be there for me when i need it. doesn't have to be an r/s yea, just a mutual partnership. hate it when my closest friends aren't from my class. and yea, i don't have a mask, which makes it kinda dangerous, i realised, and now it makes me feel quite dumb for not thinking abt it in e first place. HAHA.. sry.. i'm damn blur abt some things sometimes..
econs in less than a week. damn bad headache la.. and i'm damn tired too. ): reading up on globalisation now.
slashed at 8:48 PM .
10:29pm. recalling day's events.
simjoo passed me e letter tdy. thanks sis. (: heh.. i feel kinda better ba. somehow, like a hole in my heart has been patched up.. and filled up. yea, the last bit of longing in me is gone. i'll sucessfully forget what it means to expect sth from sb. i can now. it feels nice to let go.. and now i can concentrate more on my studies. no one owes me anth. and i shan't expect anth from anyone le. expectations require memory power yea. =)
i don't have to fear forgetting ppl le. now i can finally finish the last bit of the jigsaw. yea, i need it to ensure i don't forget the people who mattered most to me. the father's protection, mother's forgiveness, sister's wishes, godbro's courage, and godsis's care. and a lover's warmth. thank you.
i'll remake myself. i'm reducing my personality count to 6. which means that i might just end up more selfish, due to an innate self-preserving nature. i hope it's still there. but yea. i need to free up my brain space. i need to forget a lot of things. and refill those spaces with info. heh. after the As, i'll find a way to get those memories back. somehow la. but for now, i'm happy. (:
hey sis.. i just read ur letter.. hahax.. thanks yea! i think i understand you much better too yea? hahax.. actually, i think you kinda changed a lot since the first time i met you. maybe the world's influences ba.. i thought you saw the world like i did, in just pure and impure souls. kind or corrupt. yea, i don't believe in guy/girl segregation ba.. i'm a liberal. (thought you said you were too..) to me, guys and girls are only different physically. they're mutually attractive, and that's all. :)
i still remember sb leaning on me at the OG table tt day. and chasing me around just cos i said tt doughnuts would make you fat. HEH. and listening to me play with melvin's guitar at the block connector whilst complaining that the wind was strong. you said you didn't like strong winds cos they messed up your hair. :D yea, and you showed me your burns on your leg from the odac stove? hope the scars have faded ba.. yea.. we were so close then. used to sit at the canteen to talk of our flowerpots.. both of which were from our OG.. HEH.. oh, you know, i actually think the best memories i had with you were those where we randomly popped into the hodge lodge to chat and stone.. and sing along just for fun.. and listening to you sing in the mornings with leeqi was quite amusing too.. i'll forever remember Faber Drive's Tongue Tied.. cos you sang it really nice. i kinda wish things would have remained that way..
sometimes i think that demons you rear and mistrust a year ago come back with your faults to haunt you and screw up your life. to make it like theirs, cold and lonely. well, all i can say is that yea, you've changed a lot. maybe it's what people call the maturing of the soul?
getting l8 le. mum just nagged. gtg.. gdnite world.
slashed at 10:28 PM .
thanks sis. i guess i'll sleep well 2nite. (:
a load off my mind. feeling a little better that it isn't totally my fault. hope all is well.
slashed at 12:38 AM .
10:20pm. opened blogger. mum just helped me apply ginger citronella oil on my ankle. supposedly helps it cure faster. thanks mum. i love you. i stare at her left leg where the black mark still remains. i feel a deep sense of remorse. i'm an ungrateful child. i deserve to die. i was only six then. k2.
10:25pm. i sometimes hate my selective memory. hypnosis doesn't cure it. though it would be something i'd want to remember forever. to remember how much i owe her. and let it be a reminder to myself how dangerous i am. a six year old kid. i must have been driven to the wall. but i will never forgive myself.
10:29pm. still not concentrating on work. econs essay due tmr. thinking abt this evening. i guess this goodbye is at least better than the last one. i was hoping to see your smile one last time. and you watch me walk away for one last time too. i ask for no more. it's enough. and it's good enough. i'll remember that smile. yea, stupid me met sb.
11:03pm. half hr more to reaping superberries. heh. remember to call simjoo at 12am. and reap the last few superberries at 12:30. meanwhile, finish econs essay. and send sabina the avocado tree that she wanted. heh. yea. made a friend on farmville. from SO6Q. yea, the class just beside mine. yea, i accept all friend adds, even ppl i dun know. lol. courtesy sake ok. it's a mutual friendship. when someone extends his hand, shake it. taoing creates enemity. friendship begets kindness.
11:13pm. stop daydreaming. or nightdreaming. lol. back to work. econs essay.
11:35pm. random thought. was studying with eileen this morning. discussing some math. and this rude girl from the table beside shouted across, "excuse me, can you please soften your volume!" and stared at us. ok. we weren't talking loudly. and i know my voice is naturally soft. so wth was tt?? was about to shout at her and smash her head into the table. eileen kinda told me to chill and let her off. wth la. go pick on someone else. like so many ppl talking so loudly and we're only chatting. ok, i need to control my temper. if the same thing happens and it's the same person, i'm seriously going to knock some sense into her. haven't fought since sec4. i've a clean record for 1yr. hope i don't have to break it. if even eileen agrees that someone's a bitch, then she probably is.
11:59pm. i care too much about ppl around me. i need help. ): vic asked me to learn to be more selfish. yea. learning la. still learning. and still cannot learn. should call simjoo now. (: and gdnite world.
slashed at 10:21 PM .
back from dinner. 7:55pm. redoing chem TM tut now. trying to remember heterogeneous catalytic reaction but doesn't seem to work.
10:24pm. i'm thinking tt i might not be able to finish TM tut by tdy. have to call eileen and leo abt study group tmr, and tt vic's not coming cos he's down with fever. hope he gets well soon.
10:26pm. i remember tt i've got to call simjoo abt meeting her tmr. kinda glad i managed to salvage a friendship that was almost lost. i'm proud of myself. i've changed my temper a lot.
10:28pm. i'm still on qn6. oh, random thought. farmville superberries due in 2 mins. thank my godsis simjoo for introducing me to it. good game which uses the time factor to avoid eating too much of your precious time since your crops mature at a fixed time.
10:51pm. just went on facebook to reap the free money from the superberries. no more after this weekend. heh. grew peppers instead. tmr reaping cotton, pineapples and peppers. all timed nicely. 3 days, 2 days, and 1 day. heh.
10:58pm i just realised i'm typing this post in a really weird way. like noting my daily happenings every few minutes. yea, this window was open since the first recorded time. but was only opened and sth added when i need a break or when i'm thinking of sth else other than my work.
11:00pm. half hr more b4 i call simjoo. heh. shall finish as much as i can for TM ba. going to slp soon. sis just went to slp. the hall's quiet besides the noise from the keyboard. yea, i type fast. kinda noisy. now i'm trying to let the noise get softer. and die off for a awhile. cos i need to do my TM. heh.
slashed at 7:53 PM .
"Seasons In The Sun"
[Kian:]
Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
[Bryan:]
Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
[All:]
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
[Shane:]
Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along
[Mark:]
Goodbye papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there
[All:]
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone
[Nicky:]
Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground
[Shane:]
Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there
[All:]
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons have all gone
slashed at 5:10 PM .
my godsis simjoo was telling me tt day abt poker being quite addictive. heh. yea. when you win, you just wanna win more. 9k is kinda a huge sum. lol. i'm quitting it anw, for the time being. need to focus on my studies. going for dinner now. brb.
slashed at 3:50 PM .
HumanForSale.com - Look Younger
slashed at 1:30 PM .
Where does it come from—this quest, this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered? Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. But that's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here. Yet still we struggle to make a difference, to change the world, to dream of hope; never knowing for certain whom we will meet along the way. Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand, touch our hearts, and share the pain of trying.
For every being cursed with self awareness, there remains the unanswerable question. Who am I? We struggle to find meaningful connections to one another. We are the caring friend, the loving father, the doting mother, the protected child. We fight and we love in the hope that somehow, together, we can understand our significance in the universe. But in the end, no one can share our burden. Each of us alone, must ask the question. Who am I? What does it mean to be alive? And in the vast infinity of time, how do I matter?
We are all connected. Joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. Empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. An assortment of thoughts, beliefs. A collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without this? Can you be you? And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives. To find. To connect. To hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. Capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.
There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.
slashed at 12:32 PM .
met my godsis simjoo for dinner tdy.. hahax.. long time since we caught up with each other.. well, i feel kinda better ba.. and yea, i now have one more person i can be myself with. heh. yay. the world has 3 ppl who really know me now.. yea, me and my life.. heh.. SJ, JY and R. mhmm.. i should be happy. =) thanks sis.. heh.. i trust you. i know i'm not wrong yea.. (:
hmm.. i'll wait for mon yea.. hope to get just sth small.. mm? =) i'm really glad we patched up yea.. thanks for the dinner today.. it's a load off my heart..
going for 2D echo test tmr.. some heart thing.. sianx ba.. dunno how it will turn out too.. but well.. hope all goes well.. i'm falling asleep soon.. it's still early, but i think it's kinda cos i'm feeling a little bttr tdy.. so my body starts to react more normally. and start to know "tiredness".. HEH.
thanks for today sis.. i feel a lot bttr, especially now.. (:
slashed at 8:39 PM .
saw my godsis simjoo in e library tdy. heh. peng qiao ba.. it's a long time since we've really got e chance to sit down and chat cos you're always busy or with someone. oh wells. but gd to see tt you're fine ba.. (:
got e math solns from elaine le.. hahax.. actually quite a nice person ba.. just lagged the trade by a month.. LOL.. yea, i guess we could have been quite gd friends if we were in e same class ba.. tdy's prolly e last time i see you, but yea, take care!
ms goh arranged an appointment with me for chem tmr.. quite a nice teacher ba.. reminds me of ms tsang in sec 2.. hahax.. yea, both chem teachers graduated from NUS.. wun be surprised if they knew each other. =P yea, for a teacher to stay back in sch for an appointment at 4pm just to help you personally does say sth abt her ba.. mm? thanks ms goh.. =)
meeting simjoo tmr. i've thought it over, and just don't feel like hiding stuffs from you ba. i'll tell you all you needa know abt me tmr yea. (: oh yea, ur bag is quite cute. but damn rude leh.. i waved gdbye to ur kangaroo n it din wave back.. hmph.. HEH.. =D
slashed at 8:05 PM .
heh.. blogger seems to have recovered from its screwup. now the icons to upload pics are missing, just spaces that say "insert link" and "upload photo".. haha.. but well, it's an improvement yea..
gotta rush out chem TM by tmr. great. me is busy.
and i was stupid enough to click my ex's name when she posted a FB status change. went through a few of her pics and felt fine, could make myself think tt she was just a friend, then i saw her dp. FML.
yea, entry to fml sia. haiz. i've only myself to blame.
slashed at 10:24 PM .
grandma gave me some medicated patches. leg feels bttr now. can see e veins ba. but e veins on my left leg are quite bad, kinda think i put too much stress on my left side cos of my right foot's injury. gah. nvm ba. hope i recover soon.
my godsis simjoo introduced me to farmville. does relieve some stress. heh. elbow's recovering le. heart still bad, but can't help it much. need to mug more. time's running out too.
slashed at 4:52 PM .
Aquarius
January 21 to February 19
Symbol - The Water-Bearer
Element - Air
Planet - Uranus
Love Life:
You are a great kisser, a passionate lover and ideal for long-term relationships.
More Compatible with - Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Leo, Sagittarius
Less Compatible with - Taurus, Virgo, Cancer
Qualities Of Aquarius
Innovative, Independent, Faithful, Intelligent, Idealistic, Selfless, Systematic, Caring, Honest, Popular, Amiable, Creative, Altruistic & Trustworthy.
Lucky Color - Violet or Blue
Lucky Stone - Amethyst or Aquamarine
Lucky Day - Wednesday
Lucky Number - Seven
Lucky Metal - Uranium
slashed at 9:41 PM .
Douglas has taken the quiz What does your birthstone say about you? and his birthstone is Garnet.
Garnet is the birthstone for January-born people. Garnet is believed to bring good fortune to the wearer. Garnet signifies loyalty. You have a strong spirit and amiable nature. You stand up for the things you believe in. You are self confident and persevere in whatever you do.
slashed at 8:49 PM .
Ankle doesn’t hurt lk shit now. Just a nagging pain. ): went for heart ECG tdy. Yea, some heart prob.
HEH. My heart is weak. In both senses of the word. Lol.
Ok, ECG amazingly said tt nth was wrong, just tt I needed to go for some stupid tilt test, to check if my heart was functioning well or oversensitive. Yea, I think my heart is oversensitive. HEH. ok, ENOUGH cold jokes. The stupid test needs me to get attached to a IV drip, and rotating me strapped to a tilt table to see the heart movements. Screwed up la. I’ve needle phobia, and no way I’m gonna let the needle stick in my hand for an hr.
Gd thing mum called them up to cancel it. heh. needed parents consent if I were to go through the nerve wrecking test. Phew. but truly, i dun care if tt means tt i've got an unknown heart problem, and i don't know how long i have to live.. but yea. no intrusive procedures please. i'd rather die of natural causes than live longer but in fright of needles all e time.
Hmm. Tdy din think so much abt someone. Getting over it la. We all have to move on yea. ponned sch, so tmr gotta catch up a lot I guess. Mugging math l8er. Din do anth tdy cos was out half of e day.
Sometimes I wish I could just sleep the bad part of life away. Sometimes I wish I just didn’t live that part of it and that it didn’t exist. But well, I guess we all need to grow up, and in the process learn from our mistakes, and build walls to protect ourselves. Well, I sometimes ask myself, isn’t having 13 different personalities enough to protect yourself? Still need some more ah? yea, I used to have 21, and I was quite safe ba.. but wad abt ppl who dun even split their personalities, how do they survive?
I hate having to wear masks but it’s all part of the life outside ba. just sometimes wish I can just be myself and dun give a shit what others think. Heh. ok, maybe tmr, since I’ve got my “new friend”. LOL. and maybe at some bad times. Heh.. masks are quite common wad.. now with H1N1, still got SARS and bird flu.. heh. no wonder tt everyone wears them.
Couldn’t find the file online for the last hr. heh. sry sis.. I pass u in a thumbdrive tmr ba.. after assembly block? hahax.. then you return me the thumbdrive on Thursday yea? hope I’ve helped. (:
Oh wells. I need to help myself ba. guess I’ll be going to take a short nap now. hope it’ll slowly ease off some of the emoness.
slashed at 5:07 PM .
leg hurts as usual. foot. to be exact. heart hurts less. kinda bttr. tmr having a re-ECG at CGH. ponning sch.
slashed at 10:25 PM .
happy 44th birthday singapore! heh. i kinda remembered that i cried a little the first parade i attended in p5.. felt the real sense of belonging and unity there.. the people all together, strangers locking arms and singing along, cos we're all one, true singapore, and this is our home. ok, i sound like PAP. but it's true yea. we have all our roots here, we have all that we have because of our country. we should count ourselves lucky. sometimes wonder why i only feel that kind of overwhelming spirit only on national day and not on normal days. if only everyone cared for each other just as much as they did on this special day, we would have so much a better society eh? well, life's like this yea. there's the good and the bad in society. can't force everyone yea.
time flies, 7 yrs past since the last time i attended the parade. mum said this one was the best in 5 yrs. much more life, can see that people are becoming more open, less stale, and more upbeat songs and jokes for the audience yea. hahax.. SAF and the fake terrorists was really cool too. ;)
slashed at 10:37 PM .
"What's your biggest weakness?"
Heart.
You are often loved because of your outgoing and fun personality, and you like to give hugs and flirt, but underneath of it all you are lacking heart. You find it hard to love others through all the walls you've built around your heart from being hurt so much throughout life, but you want to love, you desperately want that fun, romance that you see in others, but you don't know if you can have it in your current circumstances. You want stability, but at the same time you need change. You go from one extreme to another and often feel overwhelmed when you can't figure out something. You think about your life often and how you can improve your character. You find it hard to settle, but you really want to. You just feel like you need to find that balance, that heart that you've been missing for so long. You need to love through the pain, but it's so hard. But the walls need to crumble for you to truly be YOU..
slashed at 10:36 PM .
snowy and my dad's watch.. the only two things holding on to my sanity.. yea.. thanks dear jolene for snowy.. =) i guess the thing about me is that i'm just attracted to people who are there physically when i need them.. talk and consolation just doesn't work that well. i'm considering whether to remove her as a friend on FB, or block her on MSN. cos i can't stand the sight of her. i'm sorry, cos maybe she was more than just a fling for me. cos unlike you, our r/s didn't start out of gratitude, but it was more of a sort of spark. i'm just so frustrated inside.
to my dear jolene, i miss you. i don't give a shit what RJ thinks. i just know i can't live without love. i need a pillar to hold on to. i need someone i can rely on. i'm just not ready to live life on my own.
oh, and to tell the truth, yea sis, i kinda agree with you about the raffles connect twitter thing. i do appreciate that RJ's just like any other school. i like the J1 batch a lot. they're cool, bonded and dare to speak up to their teachers. they have their own sense of what is right and wrong, and they dare to stand by it. i like that. i like that strength that comes with power and unity. a unity that could even result in a massive walkout or a riot if the admin system stepped too far.
i'm not used to being oppressed by a stupid system that curbs our behaviours. yea, wanna know my record? i fought with a guy in sec1 over a misunderstanding in front of the DAS, kicked another guy 3m off in the middle of the school field in sec2 cos he decided to pick on me, threw a table across the classroom in sec3 at the projector that a classmate was aiming at me, and sec4? well, was quite a violent year, paralyzed a guy who tried to rob me, broke his accomplice's arm, and threw a chair across the classroom cos the sec1s couldn't shut up. and yes, i'm a PSL, level i/c for sec1 to 3, and VC. got a service award, and was awarded the reve grand award for my contributions to VSC. i'm a good and a bad guy. your ultimate anti-hero.
yea, welcome to my life. just be on the right side of it. i've like auto immunity for the next 1 wk, so if any idiot cares to get in my way i won't even need to lift a finger. maybe these are just one of those few times i'm really glad to have been born in this family. heck the idiots telling you not to kiss in the library or MRT. heck them saying that holding hands is wrong. cos this time, there'll be someone who'll whack the shit out of them, and yea, he has diplomatic immunity under singapore law, with violence condoned due to self-protection. somehow, it's kinda a blessing in disguise tt i've sprained my ankle really bad, and i've a really nice uncle with really too many ppl to spare. heh.
i needed it yea. thanks.. all this stress is getting into me. i just need to spend some time with you, jolene, and then i'll feel better. :)
slashed at 7:59 PM .
wore my guitar pick necklace to archery farewell yesterday. and yea, i used it. after all, the receiver won't be receiving it, so i might as well use it yea. heck.
sometimes, i think i just can't get over it. but i will. it's not hard. screw off. and for all the times we spent together, for all the times we enjoyed each other's company. fuck you. fuck off. if you were a guy i'd might have kicked the shit out of you. added to my hate list, i hate ponytails. i hate people with nice eyes. and i hate pool. i'm gonna delete all jewel songs from my hp, and ashley tisdale's a bitch. get the fuck out of my life. cos i might not know if i would just lose control of myself someday. i hate you.
went blog surfing. visited my godsis simjoo's blog.. heh.. RJ's just like any other school, and i'm kinda proud of my J1 batch ba.. just like the american high schools, freedom, and no one gives a fuck about how you think. you don't have to act as though you're some innocent goody-two-shoes geek when you're not. fucked up system to infuse goddamn fake values into us about some shit on how people should behave. hey wake up man. WAKE UP. you're creating a whole nation of hypocrites. you don't change anything. and that kind of values are worth NOTHING.
some school adminstrators have been so out of touch with their students that they become so old and fucked up. ok, i've nothing against old people. i hate over conservative people and i'm not afraid to say that they suck. what gives you the right to tell others what to do? aren't you also human, like all of us? it's not like kissing and hugging on the MRT is going to harm anyone. bullying causes harm, happy slapping causes harm, but kissing and hugging? hey what the hell are you thinking? oh, so you've never kissed or hugged someone before? what a fucking sad life you have.
ok. it's a very angsty post about this fucked up society that we're living in. so much fuss about stupid things. i think i'm just going to be me for the next few days. i'm not gonna give a shit about ignorant idiots who just love telling others what to do.
i'm better now yea. haiz..
oh, i've got a new friend from m'sia tt's gonna follow me around sch. heh. my uncle's idea, till my ankle recovers. lol..
slashed at 1:59 PM .
i thought we had started out fine. and I know what blossomed between us was real. I know you did feel that way. but maybe just that once. I should have taken the initiative then. It was partly my fault for letting you wait. I guess it’s the timing and all, that wasn’t right for us. Well, it’s better that you told me now, rather than letting us continue on like this. I don’t think we both would regret it later on in life, but it’s a memory that I’d want to forget. We both have to get on with our own lives, and I’m really sorry k? cos I just can’t imagine myself being attached to someone who doesn’t have plans of marriage through her life, and is attracted to any guy she sees within just a few weeks. Maybe it’s cos of your problem, I know you’re on concertas, but I just can’t accept that. You’re on a medication for god knows how long, and it’s destroying you inside. if I can’t convince you to lay off reliance on it, I’ll let him do it.
this is probably the last post I’ll be writing for you. too many happy memories now turned bitter. Thanks for the memories. I’d just rather not see you around school. if I do, I guess I won’t say hi. I guess I won’t even be going for any more WG outings ba. I just don’t want to see you, get the point? it’s over between us. Actually, it was over the moment I saw ur eyes tt day at the walkway. I was just trying my luck ytd, cos I know I’ve got a 10% chance of a bad profiling. Well, last night’s convo was a test. And you failed it. I know what’s going on now, I’ve got a better idea. Anyway, your sort of life isn’t the kind of life I wanna lead in the long term. Now maybe, but not forever. Clubs and pubs are fun now. but after we’re attached, I don’t really think it’s appropriate.
Sometimes, I really wonder why you have so little faith in a r/s. i know your parents aren’t exactly the best around, but well? I’ve never regretted knowing you. I don’t regret the times we spent together too. but life has to go on. i wish I’d have known you earlier, and perhaps we were in the same class and cca? Hahax.. well, things aren’t as they are in the movies yea. can’t expect a perfect r/s paved by god. If things were a little different, we might have been the best couple there ever was. Someday when we each have our own families and our kids, we’ll tell them our stories, and you have a place in mine.
Goodbye sujin, whichever choice you make in life, it’ll have nothing to do with me now. 10 years later on the streets, I won’t even recognize you. ok, make it 5. good luck, and good bye. I admit that I’ve felt that way once.
But it’s over. And it’s your fault.
Don’t blame me.
slashed at 1:46 PM .
sprained my ankle real bad tt it'll take 6 weeks to recover. (though i feel it's kinda getting better leh.. heh.. accelerated healing.. doc said it was a miracle tt i was able to walk to sch tdy.. LOL..)
ponning sch tmr.. going for an x-ray on doc's recommendation.. heh.. yea, hope all is fine ba.. i should learn to be more careful..
slashed at 9:43 PM .
i freaking sprained my right leg. ok. ankle. it's not tt painful now but it's swelled up badly. was damn pain just now. gahhhhhhh... freak la.. damn pissed. tmr's econs test, and i've decided to go home early to mug more(cos i left my econs prelims book at home), and this had to happen. freakkk. emo la. sianx..
slashed at 8:57 PM .
mugging addiction. don't need a cure. blogger is still screwed. elaine will pass me e ans 4 e 2 maths qns tmr. if yes, means passed the test. if no, means fails. gp essay was cool. nice to write. lk 4 pgs in 1hr.. happy.
slashed at 11:57 PM .
stressed out. blogger is also screwed. met this girl called elaine in e lib. said sth meaningful. sth about being addicted to mugging. think of mugging as fun instead of a chore. gd words. heh.
slashed at 11:14 PM .
