Kel! You and your loudspeaker during cle. Haiz... and gy has no common sense not to follow. Damn irritating la. dun do it again (if there even is an “again”). Plz. Not funny. Dun go around telling everyone that I have like 5 gfs. Its not funny at all. Its just irritating, cos u know that I dun hav a gf and all my friends are FRIENDS. goodness. Can’t tell the diff ah? Friends are friends. If I can have friends who are guys, why not girls? Can you all be abit more open minded, and not so sterotype? --__--“ haiz... nth to say la.
Oh well, prayed for kel and chloe for their jap tests tdy. Kel said it was quite ok. Actually felt lk I wanted to msg Chloe to wish her gd luck since I couldn’t do it in person. But then it would have seemed too random la. so I just wished kel. Based on wad I figured, well kel did meet chloe la. and chloe wished him gd luck. (I kinda predicted that she would if they met.) looking at kel’s character, prolly he would have wished her back as well, instead of just replying a “thank you”. Yea. So if anyone (kel did, I suppose) wishes her gd luck, she should have gotten it la. hahax. Well, it’s the thought that counts right? I’ve wished you in my heart. Still considered ok... =) LOL! Ok ok. Anw I prayed for kel and chloe la. sry nv pray for you, elieen. Din know you also took jap. Now I know. Will pray for you next time. =P
San was sayin that we should go to mediacorp. How true. Cts round the corner. Gotta mug, and cast all other stuffs aside. Kor, can relax or not? I know myself la. wun “get myself into any shit”. =P well, I learnt sth that day after comforting san. Msg to therisingpower: as long as I do my best, I shan’t have any regrets. Makes sense? Yes.
Destiny snapped her D-string early this morning, discovered only at 6am when I woke up. Haiz... have to find a 4th string this coming weekend or latest Monday. Sad la. now she can’t really be played with the normal fingering, have to use replacement notes at different frets. Destiny, take care hors... =P dun overstretch yourself. Haven’t been playin Dreamchaser for like 4 mths... Think she and her amp must be dusty. Must find a day to polish, and tune properly. Den jam a little after CTs.
Sometimes I wonder. If I happen to like the same person that my friend likes, what should or would I do? Give her up? Or be the evil guy? Maybe my cousin was right. I shouldn’t have gone too deep into relationships. Maybe this is the only “shit” that only I(my reasoning self) can pull my other (emotional)self out from. No one else can.
To love someone, and yet not being able to let her know is somehow, something very difficult. Anyhow and anyway, I made it for 46 days, (and counting) =P LOL! I’m dumb I know. And stupid. But maybe it was the right thing to do, until she realizes that you love her. until then, jus be a friend. Cos if it’s not mutual, then there’s seriously no point in continuing. There are times that we have to “chain our heart” if we dun want it to come to harm. 2 Sep 2006, the day you tried to steal my heart. Well, I’m still the cold guy without any expression right? So obviously no one can even notice.
Tell me what I should do. Sleepy... eyes closing.
slashed at 10:10 PM .
The faded words are just beside me. Their answers aren’t given in the silence and warmth of the night. Ok. Tdy was quite ok. Save that kel and gy were being sicko, I was coughing out blood, think throat got prob after shouting yesterday. Can’t imagine how sick lor... so irritating! That lasted for the whole day. Yes. How sick. Nvm. Actually, kel’s a nice guy if he is not nonsensing around and crapping rumours abt me. and gy will always follow, and add on and on. Maybe the only person who won’t is vic. “die also won’t say” attitude. I like that. The typical me, “kill me I also won’t go against my laws and rules that I subscribe to”=P. sth 2 clarify, I have NEVER and not once in my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE badmouthed a person behind his back. COS TT’S SO IMMORAL! I dun do such things! Pls dun accuse me lor! And I’m so sure chloe tt knows me well lor, and like we only know each other for 2 mths? (basically the same amt of time that you know me, steff. Like you, we only talk on msn, so we aren’t tt close.) And to Chloe or whoever it may be, I’m so sure that I’ve said anything bad abt anyone to you or even anybody at all lor. If you want to listen to other ppls rumours abt me, I can’t help it. Too bad. If u r not happy wif sth, jus say it in front of me, and scold me or wadever. Dun go behind my back. Cos tt’s juz makin me pissed. Ok. Maybe we can clarify matters. I can’t be bothered cos its not my fault that you choose to think this way and believe those shitty tale carriers.
Oh well, it aint my fault that I only knew steff’s bdae the day l8er when sme random fella msged me... kind enough to at least ask ppls to send my regards to her lor. Bttr den I know and I dun even wish her. stupid kel dunwan to give me her hp. Den now got misunderstandings. all your fault la! anyway, im not bothered la. send u email as a friend to wish you. So as to clear things up. Pls dun go arnd believing everything that any1 says. Haiz... Some friends I have. Nth bttr to do than to tok abt me. maybe I shan’t tok so much abt my private life to them la. yes, my cousin was right, I should have listened. Ppl like us have to wear our masks till we complete our mission, the mere reason for our existence. But I had wanted to take the risk, I chose to trust. My fault? Yes.
Ankle abit bttr now. not so pain. Maybe like I’ve been falling and tripping so often that ppl notice that I fell, but no one has suspected that my ankle hurts. Besides u la. I know u care. You who dunno my blog. Yea. Animae scar rite? lol! tt’s caused by kel’s toenail. Is it really tt obvious? Lol? I think its kinda faded le. hahax. talk abt animae, I coughed blood like so naruto? Kel was sayin that I might die. Bttr go drink water or go first aid. Lol! thx 4 ur concern! =D im fine now. You’re quite a nice guy when you’re not being nonsense la, keep my secrets to urself! I chose to trust u, against my cousin’s advice that I should trust no one besides myself and my brothers. Plz treasure it. I dun usually regret my decisions. Yea, kel, vic, and gy. My close friends.
Stupid Blogger can’t refresh my temp. Can’t link anyone now. cos it juz bacically hangs. Yes, hangs. Cbox is down as well. Ok, I’ve made a resolution for 12 hrs. I shall not leak any info abt myself to anyone. Kor, I’ll listen 2 u next time la. I’m sorry I got myself into this mess. Yea, forgive me will you? I won’t do such a thing again. But I still believe that they can be trusted, give me time. Believe me like you have always done. Kor, can?
Hmm... tmr kel’s having his jap test. 60% of the yr. muz b mugging now. well, whatever you did, I dun really bother, cos its just that maybe u dun really understand wad I want of you as one of my close friends, as one who keeps my secrets to himself. yea, but I’ll still pray for you despite your deadly loudspeakering. Yea. All the best. =)
slashed at 10:25 PM .
An amazing day. Amusing day. Lol... manage to pass maths test! Now got an average of 60+... difficult to get an A... so sad... dun get 3.8 sure die. Haiz... I feel stressed. Kel’s parents so good lor... dun give him any stress... (envy...)... can still have time to roller blade beside his father... so gd... living my ideal life... big house, dun need to worry abt pocket $, dun need to care abt grades, dun need to come back by 6, want sth den ask and parents will give... I likeeee!... but sadly, my life is my life, and I have to live it as it is. Stop daydreaming of things that can never come true! =P Dunno whether can still pull off my roller blade stuns... a long time since I’ve tried. Two years ago roller blading at the back of the playground. I like the wind across my face, gliding, cos u too slow cannot catch me. (imba me) hahax. Yea, you taught me tt stunt. Think I’ve forgotten now. Stupid me. Or else if not forgotten, its just cos of no practice for the past 2 yrs so can’t carry it out properly.
Chem lesson was amusing. Comp spoilt so went to the chi lang rm for lesson. Funny smell in the room. So we opened the windows. Den got suddenly chao loud birds chirping irritated mrs yau... =P lol! kinda sounded like chidori. (if you watch naruto, this is Sasuke’s blue lightning skill, [thousand birds chirping]) lol! den bio and ss teacher both din come... well done. Class had no govt. MR put classmates’ water bottles and pencil cases on the fan blades. Den when they came back he kena owned. (owned in the worst way possible. Shan’t elaborate. Lol. ) yea. Amusing day. Figured out how to play qian li zhi wai, in a guit solo. Yes! Will perfect that up soon.
Hmm... onli thingy not veri gd abt tdy... ermz... ok nvm... anw, juz wanna say, dun spread rumours abt me to other ppls can? Jus keep it within you both, and me if you want. Cos I dunwan the others to know me as tt type of person, but rather my usual self. Cos I onli tell my close friends. and I expect them to keep it to themselves, and dun tell others. If I trust you with a secret, keep it well, as my true friend. Cos I dun jus tell anyone on the street. You earned my trust, and I trusted you. Dun betray my trust. Maybe I wasn’t clear at the start tt I dun like other ppls to know abt me. But now I am. ok? haiz... some things are meant to be secret to the world outside the few of us. But I chose to believe that I could tell you. Pls dun spread anymore. Thank you.
Taught the sec1s tdy. First lesson wif them. Can vomit blood. couldn’t control them to make all of them listen at one go. Maybe I was too kind. I’m always too kind la. serves me right. Now still hav to find a way to reject karliang’s band thingy and hav to find a way to regain my voice. Yes, I was raising my voice, but the noise level was like super high? Bless my throat. Muz learn to be evil the next time. like wad kel said la, cannot always give in, muz follow wad you want sometimes. I wonder how hiok is gonna control them... haiz... lol... one of them snapped his 4th string, so I had to go get the key. Yea. And mr tan was standing in front of me. outside LT1. “sir where are you? I’m at LT1” “I don’t see you...” “sir, im behind you.” LOL! dotz... super lame. Ok ok... shall go mug for chi test tmr. chi letter writing. Mug format. Haiz... sleepy... =D
slashed at 8:59 PM .
tdy was lk dunno wad la. lol... morn was debates. we won! gy was best speaker. Kinda worried tt maybe I might hav screwed it up... cos i used kinda chim lang and the class (inclusive of the adjudicators) prolly din know wad I was tokin... =P maybe I must know my audience well the next time. My audience is my class! not rosie smith nor mrs nathan! Lol... well, I completely 4got the eye contact with the audience thingy, and was lk debating with the opposition, facing the opposition, lk I did in the interhouse debates.. so screwed! Haiz... mine was the worst place to take in a debate la. 3rd speaker cannot script his part at all. Lol. a dumb debate on whether life is as easy as a taogay. Congrats to all hu hav done well. And it was a gd debate la. Though I feel tt I wasn’t really up to standard... SUBSTANDARD DEBATER. =P (coped phrase frm qw.) Well, I tried my best rite? I dun care abt the debate marks le. tt’s all a part of history. All I care now is how to do my expo essay to pull my marks up. Eng muz maintain. Though its hard, I will do my best. At least I tried. I can die with one less regret.
Maths test made a careless mistake. Stupid me. I’m damn dumb la. wth. To Sandra: sometimes, we make mistakes. Everyone does. Sometimes our mistakes deal huge consequences, but the point is that one mistake doesn’t mean that you aren’t up to standard. Have faith in yourself. Life has to go on la. tt’s wad I told myself the last time I screwed up the maths test. Nxt time work harder. Tt’s all. Well, I guess its never too l8 to start mugging... which is wad im doin now. any probs can ask me, email, or sms. I want to help all my friends. It will not be as serious as not getting promoted la. relax. Ok. The point is, I’ll help all that I can. Basic as a friend. Hahax. All the best for all of your EOYs! Gd luck!
To kel, vic and gy: thx for bein dere. more than that I can say in words. More than jus any normal friend. =P Thank you.
slashed at 10:10 PM .
hp no batt... can’t msg... crappp! Haiz... now preparing for debates... tmr... so sian... chem test was screwy tdy... lucky dun hav maths test... and phy... lol... kinda realized that maybe I was wrong abt kel n gy la... lol... though kel stil the same, still suannin me lk siao... --__--“ hmm... dere’s sb out dere besides god hu cares 4 me la... hahax. lol. prayed for all my friends who were havin their tests tdy... san and 2 more ppls... =P well all didn’t turn out well la... god has his way of doin things I think. Still, con’t believing! Never give up... I guess I’ll jus hav 2 mug harder... note the impt pointers... haiz... splitting headache... shall end this post here and go to slp... hp recharged... now I c san’s msg. 845... almost 2 hrs... crap... I bttr rply asap... 15 mins le... no rply leh... haiz... maybe she’s slppin... sry hor, couldn’t hlp again... --__--“ karliang askin me to perform in rafflesian spotlight. Im having (ln e^2000) thoughts about joining. Can’t memo so many stuffs in such a short time. I feel sian. Hmm... shall go slp now. WT closed her blog le... also nv gone online for a veri long time as well... muz b veri buzy... all the best in ur new sch k? u'll be a good teacher to them as you were to us! :D
slashed at 10:42 PM .
Was doin debates at kel’s hse tdy... ended up watchin animaes for the first 2 hrs... =P ok dunno wad’s wif kel lor... he’s lk acting veri cold 2 me... lol... sometimes I wonder if there actually exists true friends in this world, friends who care for each other. And I thought I could try to reveal my true self to my closest friends, after these two and a half years of hiding behind my mask, acting as how I was supposed to behave. I have always been the fake me. the so perfect me. acting only through reason, not through feelings. Am I to act my way through the next 3 yrs? I’ve already got my post as vice chair of RIGE, sth I’ve been longing for since 2 yrs ago, to do my part and fulfill my passion. Must I continue to wear this mask? It’s not easy to be able to act for 2 yrs, doing all that you do against your will, due to the pure fact of reason. Really. Is there any point now? I thought my closer friends would accept me as I was. The real me. Not the one they see in school in front of my teachers, my classmates and my juniors. Judging from kel’s response tdy, I guess the real me isn’t really welcome by my him. I don’t know about gy. sad. my friends won’t accept me as I truly am. They are so used to my mask. if I was given a chance to be true, would anyone even accept such an imperfect person? screening a movie all day, in school, and at home. No rest. No weekends. The movie must go on. I feel tired. and disappointed with my friends whom I have trusted so much. I was wrong. maybe an actor should just continue acting. sb msg me if you are free. I feel lk tokin. maybe someone ask me how I am now. maybe if there is someone out there who still cares for the real me.
slashed at 9:08 PM .
Good news and bad news. Good first. OMG! I’m vice chair for next yr RIGE! LOL! Coolz la! Woots! Woots! Woots! =D lol... will make the whole yr fruitful. I promise. I pledge my word in blood. Bad stuffs next. (I dun use that word here. So juz to vent my anger I shall shortform it. l8er “vice-chair also liddat talk ah?” LOL. ) Here. Fk the fkin phy test la! fk it! Bloody shit qn dun even state clearly! Half the class cheating, but I can’t b bothered abt them cos of integrity. But if I’m goin to fail, I rather stand close to them and listen to them shout out all the answers. Blame myself. Stupid phy dept. I’ve a good mind to burn the sch down. (tt’s sooo quanwei... now I understand how he feels abt the screwed up RI.) WTH la. Kel got FULL MARKS for maths test. Gy got a few mistakes. I DUN EVEN KNOW WHETHER OR NOT I PASSED. Crap la! im seriously such an idiot. “do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil...” why do we still sit for so many tests.. --__-- lol.. if I were not to enter hell for slashing my writs I would hav long ago. Lol.. haiz.. Pray that each day would be better.
slashed at 10:26 PM .
Read san’s blog yesterday, felt like crying... brought back old memories. you said you would share the last dance with me, but in the end you never did. I could still hear the First Love by Utada Hikaru, being played on the dance floor that Christmas night, when I slipped away from my parents to share a dance with you. It has been 3 years. A long time yea? Are you fine there? How’s the weather? Hahax. Forget it. It just isn’t worth tearing for something that won’t come back to you. Hope you’re doing well. Shan’t talk too much of something that no one can make sense of yea. lol... Take care, everyone!
slashed at 10:22 PM .
Had this weird dream last nite... set me thinkin abt whether i really mattered to all the ppls out dere. Wad is life? Will dere be anyone hu would remember me if I died tomorrow? I guess no one cares. Cos im not tt significant in their lives. im juz a passing friend. Sad la... And last nite kinda injured my ankle while tryin to do a twist move... stupid me, its still hurtin la... haiz... Stressed.. got tests cmin up. Jus round the corner. Seriously being too random these days... dunno wad’s wrong wif me la. gy says im startin 2 tok weird... Lol. mus try 2 b more sane, cannot b random. But sorry... I can’t stop crappin cos I’m essentially a born crapper lol... couldn’t slp last nite... ended up msgin san... hahax... lol... think I kinda got insomnia or wad! Jus so awake at the wrong time lor! Wth la. Lol... msg till abt 11+ den she forced me 2 go slp --__-- , =__= lol... difficult leh... i tried... (but I did slp la! hahax... thx 4 ur concern!) LOL. went wif kel 2 go eat LJS at J8... one of the things tt we usually dun mind spending $ on cos it was on offer... (besides bubble tea =P ) kel’s a nice person la. though sometimes we get misunderstandings. den I start to feel pissed. I dun lk ppls treatin me as their servant lor. But I dun mind me volunteering. Hehe... forgive and forget. We’re still gd frenz! Hahax... 以己度人... learnt tdy... muz apply. =P gtg rush again... spent 1/2 hr typin this. lol.
slashed at 4:09 PM .
Got the song lyrics and notes from Cheryl Tay, cos i suddenly had the inspiration to transpose and make it a guit solo, of course to start with, the chords... enjoy! entitiled 《不如归来》, this song won the second place in the competition, owning us la... but its nice. the lyrics are pro. =D
《不如归来》
C G F /
迷失了方向没有人理睬/
C G /F G/
深夜里露睡/在街头巷外/
F/ Em Am/
仰头见/ 一只杜鹃鸟/
F F/ G/
轻轻地问你/你不如归来/
C
不如归来
Em
不如归来
Am Em
繁华的金世只留空荡的苍白
F
鸟儿问说
Em Am
你不如归来
F G
这儿有万里柔绿的山脉
Em Am
这儿没有争取的狂待
F G C
你是否有勇气归来？
C G F
你挥刀取血掌握了钱财
C G F G
你说你脚步都变得轻快
F / Em Am/
晚霞中/飞着杜鹃鸟/
F / G G/
飞到你耳边鸣着/你不如归来/
C
不如归来
Em
不如归来
Am Em
心爱的木屋你离开得爽快
F
鸟儿问说
Em Am
你不如归来
F G
这儿有万里柔绿的山脉
Em Am
这儿没有争取的狂待
F G C
你是否有勇气归来？
Am Em
没人见你随着长叹泪下
F
只见你执著
G
只见你不想失败
F G
这儿有万里柔绿的山脉
Em Am
这儿没有争取的狂待
F G C
你是否有勇气归来？
Suddenly had inspiration to compose a new song... will post it soon... busy period now... past few days ended up slppin at 11+ , rushing out stuffs... kinda felt a little bad cos din manage 2 hlp san for her phy test... =P sries... i guess i would have lost trust in such a person lk tt if i were the one askin 4 hlp lor... lol... thx san 4 4givin me, and crappin wif me and killin time... hahax. thx kel n gy for tokin crap and suanning me for this whole wk... LOL. i realised i seem to lk to suan ppls... :D :D :D walao. im damn bad la. shld start work sn. still got time to blog ah? stop crappin n get down to serious work. will blog again when i hav time! wish me luck. (;
slashed at 8:29 PM .
Haiz... sch reopening tmr... still got ERP, chi hw, and phy hw left 2 do... :( so sad... no more crapping for me le... guess I’d hav 2 revert back 2 the serious guy in sch tt most ppl bttr know me as, apologies to all the peoples here... sry kel 4 flaring at u tt day cos I was kinda worried when I read the mail... sry gy for ignoring u on fri, cos you were like damn irritating, sry san for suanning you for fun, and crapping so much... sry mum n dad, cos I’ve had no time 2 spend wif u’all cos of my schedule... sry every1 cos i've really had no time 2 blog... haiz... time passes fast. I’m kinda felling lost or sth... no mood 2 crap le...
slashed at 1:36 PM .
People are often unreasonable,
illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
People may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
They may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Mother Teresa
slashed at 10:12 PM .
