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    Saturday, September 23, 2006 . im lost.

    Was doin debates at kel’s hse tdy... ended up watchin animaes for the first 2 hrs... =P ok dunno wad’s wif kel lor... he’s lk acting veri cold 2 me... lol... sometimes I wonder if there actually exists true friends in this world, friends who care for each other. And I thought I could try to reveal my true self to my closest friends, after these two and a half years of hiding behind my mask, acting as how I was supposed to behave. I have always been the fake me. the so perfect me. acting only through reason, not through feelings. Am I to act my way through the next 3 yrs? I’ve already got my post as vice chair of RIGE, sth I’ve been longing for since 2 yrs ago, to do my part and fulfill my passion. Must I continue to wear this mask? It’s not easy to be able to act for 2 yrs, doing all that you do against your will, due to the pure fact of reason. Really. Is there any point now? I thought my closer friends would accept me as I was. The real me. Not the one they see in school in front of my teachers, my classmates and my juniors. Judging from kel’s response tdy, I guess the real me isn’t really welcome by my him. I don’t know about gy. sad. my friends won’t accept me as I truly am. They are so used to my mask. if I was given a chance to be true, would anyone even accept such an imperfect person? screening a movie all day, in school, and at home. No rest. No weekends. The movie must go on. I feel tired. and disappointed with my friends whom I have trusted so much. I was wrong. maybe an actor should just continue acting. sb msg me if you are free. I feel lk tokin. maybe someone ask me how I am now. maybe if there is someone out there who still cares for the real me.

    slashed at 9:08 PM .