I dunno how I should feel today. felt lk crap this morning. Dizzy but still came to class. A not dere yet. Went to B’s class to borrow philo essay frm B. felt damn useless tt I couldn’t help A in the pt ytd. I tried my best to. but I kind of failed I suppose. Dad wanted me to turn off e com at 12. so left me with no choice. I can’t defy him rite? after so many times when I said “give me 10 more mins”. Tmr pe u look at my back when im changing den u’ll understand la. even then, I din get to help u much. I’m not worthy to be your friend. not tt u din know ur flaws. u knew. Or how else did u come up with ur nick? Wdv. Im not sayin anth. cos I know im not perfect either. My attitude sux at times, esp when I get pissed. n im not who u see me as. I even lack moral courage sometimes, though I’ve stood up many a time in my life for justice. I’m a living contradiction I guess. A taoed me for the whole of this morning. Flag raising also. Must have been such an idiot and pissed him off. I feel damn sad. u were once my best friend. can’t u be the same again? din go for recess, chionged philo essay during recess, and chi summary, A jus left me la. I jus sat alone la, damn sad, tht I lost a gd friend. den aft sch it wasn’t tt bad, A was back to normal. But maybe he’s jus acting la. he’s prolly still pissed with me. if u’re pissed at me, jus pull me aside and tell me straight ok? think tt way its bttr la. B l8er also pissed at me cos he tht tt I photocopied his essay. Scolded me over sms. Say he wun lend me anth anymore. Tt moment I tht I had lost another friend again. l8er fixed the misunderstanding la. but I dunno if he’s still suspecting me and pissed at me. maybe this line is quite useful here. Said by yama no raidon. “I would rather die than betray my friends.” (yes, he’s not a famous person, and yes, he is still alive today.) stayed up l8 till 1230 last nite to chiong ss proposal. Told A that if I ever slept without sending him e proposal, den I’m not worthy of his friendship. I did in the end. Sent, but din do it exactly that well. That was the l8est I’ve ever used the com in my entire life. and cos of that, I have another 450 pages left to write as punishment. Left sch with friends, and A. went J8 slack awhile. Made me remember the old days where me n A would go 2 slack and pass time aft sch, when I would walk home with him.
I just sat in the train and held my head and cried. I dunno whether u r still my friend now, but A, if this answers ur qn, if I have ever treated u as a friend b4, my answer is simple. “yes, I always have treated u as my best friend, and always, caring for you just that u din notice. And u din bother, cos u jus din c that dere was this guy who cared 4 u as if u were his blood brother, and sacrificed so much for u. but u couldn’t see it.” A, lets be friends again ok? im sry if I’ve done u wrong. But pls tell me where I went wrong. Sometimes all of us have limitations. I have my parents as my boundaries. What can I do abt it? nth. Pls. pls. pls. try to understand can. I bet if u were me u wouldn’t stay up if u had to copy 500 times a list of stuffs and then for the time I tried to spend with u, I get taoed the next day, and I lose this friendship that we’ve held on to for so long. Why is it such that the bonds of friendship are so fragile?
Maybe 15 yrs l8er when I unite the world I’ll bring all good friends happiness and joy and no worries in the world, with true friendship that holds no boundaries. Lets be friends again shall we? dun leave me alone. i dunno y im crying again.
slashed at 10:57 PM .
