Dunno how I shld b feeling now. I’m hugging by bolster close to me in front of the computer. I haven’t cried yea. I stared at my left arm resting on the desk and somehow saw it bleeding in my mind. From the top, blood trickles down to my elbow joint. then it flows down to the floor. Drop by drop of red. Blood red. I guess tt’s how my heart feels yea. its cold. I think its frozen. I dun feel anth. Its like...... just blanked out. Ok, I’ve to fact the fact that I’ve let down 11 out of 22 ppl who believed in me and nominated me. Yea. cos some fucking ppl dun think I’m up to the job. Yea, I know I din want to tell them about my qualifications, cos I wanted to get in through their trust in me and not through my past status as a committee member, PSL, vice chair, and pupil leader. Yea, there you go, if u want it so badly. You thought my votes were just popularity votes right? Since you have no faith in me and choose ppl jus cos they go and boast that the traits about themselves are their posts in sch b4, then so be it yea. to think that you don’t fucking give me a chance to show that I’ve got the support of my batchmates, and think through your interviews you know enough of us when you have never bothered to interact with us b4, just cos I said tt seniors din interact wif us much then u get some guys to come down have dinner with us and consider tt done? I should really say tt u guys really suck. And this comes from one of the only 120 nominees of the international student leadership conference representing Singapore. SINCE YOU GUYS CARE SO MUCH ABOUT QUALIFICATIONS AND NOT QUALITIES. Fine. I think I know my priorities in life now. Studying should take first place. Vic was right yea. *hugs my godbrother* yea, I shall cherish what I have too yea.. listen to you. And thanks sister joo for wanting to share my thoughts.. *kiss ur forehead* *pats* =) I feel bttr yea.. I miss RI, and all my friends, my godbros, my quirky juniors.. and those nice teachers.. my seniors were nice ppl too then.. I’m glad I served RI well. ok. I’m just emo n pissed now. Dun bother abt me yea. I’m sry I let you ppl down. Sry. I should just die.
slashed at 11:02 PM .