The Rising Power...

"If only everyone was less fake. If the world were more real. You know, I'm missing you now. I know i shouldn't. But i am. I love you." --- Fallen Angel. Wednesday, May 28, 2008, 11:05pm.

slashed at 11:01 PM .

Sunday, May 25, 2008 .

Just came back from expo.. lol.. had quite a lot of healthy and unhealthy food. Like the contrast btw the detoxification and slimming drinks and the chicken wings and takoyaki… LOL.. Sichuan earthquake on tv now.. quite touching.. 妈妈别哭 really brought tears.. the projection of a child’s longing for her mother.. 城里的月光 also never sounded so sad.. a lot of people die everyday.. some are the innocent. They don’t deserve to die. Yet they take it in their stride, with that fearless look on their face. They don’t fear death, cos they’ve lived life to the fullest. But some haven’t, and they deserve the chance, yet god took it away from them. they paid for the sins of the many out there who should have been in their place, the twisted and corrupt. The background melody for the earthquake victims brings sadness to everyone. Its really quite sad, especially when you see the children crying, when they realize that they’ve lost their parents forever, in that split second, when they’ve never had a chance to say goodbye. Called to donate $18 just now.. yea.. donated $2 last wk.. but I know that no money can recover that hurt in their hearts. They dun deserve to die. The kindness of the human heart bleeds.

6 Arrows the Fallen Angel will shoot for humanity.
1. for the kindness and purity of the human soul.
2. for the innocents out there who have died in place of the sinners.
3. for the love of Man and God, all who have faith in the kindness of the human heart.
4. for those who have not succumbed to the sinister and scheming world out there, choosing to stay pure and right.
5. for the man who’s willing to lay down his life for his friends, the few who survive in the devious environment of society.
6. for my wish for the unfortunate to persevere on and believe in themselves.

Continue to persevere on, to cling on to your faith, and do what your friends or your parents may have wanted you to achieve in life. It’s not going to be easy, but that’s the best you can do now, and their guiding spirits by your side may watch over you and leave the earth in peace. The world deserves better, those who live life taken for granted don’t deserve life but live it, those who don’t, lose it. but they deserve so much bttr. Thank our lucky stars that we’re born here in this world, away from natural disasters and death.

“Live life in your best, and help others in your life live theirs better than your best.” --- Fallen Angel.

slashed at 9:58 PM .

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 .

I guess this is one of the times I come home early from school. Its 3.52pm.. just finished bathing.. tmr’s GP CT and I’m asking myself what I’m doing in front of the com blogging. gd job. I really dunno how to manage time. Ok, shall go slp when I finish this post. Rest awhile b4 I start some last min revision for gp. Actually quite nervous. Considering tt ppl are memorizing quotes and examples, and I haven’t memorized any. Also not that clear on how to do the essay format. I’m kind of screwed. Cold orange helps. Its freezing cold. Nice. Sweet. Guess this is one of the days I come back earlier than my sis.. hahax.. dunno ba.. I sometimes stay in sch 4 no reason. Sometimes just hope there’s someone trust that I can chat with. Maybe for an hour or so. Gives this life more meaning if I keep doing tt every day. I just got back a lot of tests. Phy 15 / 35, maths 10 / 25, chem 13 / 25.. sucks to be me. I dunno wad’s wrong with me la. I need remedial badly. RJ life is just rushing through, no time to stop and understand anth. Is this the kind of grades you want from your students? The kind of education standards you give them? its really a miracle that RJ produces so many As.. can’t tell how its gonna happen for me. But I really need time to stop and start revising. And Stop. Just STOP. Chasing blindly after some goals that blind all of us. I recall my godbro jiale saying abt his rjrc exco politics.. and I see it happening around me. I’ve finally seen through a lot of people. But I’m don’t have the strength and the mind anymore. To keep fighting for that place I know should be mine. cos its pointless. And I’d rather channel my energies to achieve better grades. After all, it’s the grades that make the first mark.. Sembawang archery comp coming up. I’m gonna bring back a gold. At least for my godsis joo.. cos she stayed back to chat, cos she believed in me. And godbro vic too.. cos you were concerned enough to call over to share my emoness.. its kind of hard putting a cold front yea.. its hard. But its possible. It can be done.

Lol.. joo cut her hair. And its just funny, cute and amusing. LOL. i was sitting in the bus and then decided to doze off. Then my mind started to wander, started with phy test.. and then to canteen and hodge lodge. Then to someone’s really cute hair. Shall not say who. Go figure. HAHA. I knid of just started laughing and my sec1s started to stare at me.. (yea, I met them on the bus.) LOL!!! hahax.. so much for self-amusement. sister joo.. dun kill me if u ever read this post..=P HAHA… time files yea.. sec1s become sec2s le.. so fast.. I still remembered the time when I sat down to share with them the little things in life, and how we should treasure those around us, and help ppl in need. Its one big society anw, one human race. Strength in unity. hahax.. oh yea, thanks whoever you are who helped stop the bus in time for me to get on it tdy.. lol.. maybe he’s a teacher from rj.. one kind teacher unlike the rest who just go about their jobs, cos teaching is just a occupation after all yea, finish and get done with it and get paid. Sucky attitude. Thank you! (hope he heard the “thanks” I whispered.) I may forget how he looks like in the near future, but it’s one kind deed that really touches my heart. I’ll pass it on if that’s the least I do. Lol.. thinking about teachers, I kind of miss wincy tsang.. hard to meet such good teachers in our lives nowadays. And only when they’re gone, do we treasure them. sad reality yea. ok, shall end here. Shall blog when I have time. Its 4.38pm now.. Hahax.. =)

I suddenly have a flashback. A memory that when I was a kid, my sis and I were quarrelling over a plastic bag. I forgot why. But I snatched it and ran to my mum’s room and threw it out of the window, cos I knew that my mum would force me to give it to her. That plastic bag was actually used to store toys. I don’t know why I did it. but I know I regretted it just less than a minute later, and banged at the door, wanting to go get it back. But of course my mum did not allow it. (one thing for sure, its dirty, and its dangerous for a 5 yr old to run out alone looking for a plastic bag.) I don’t know what’s with me. I was only five, and come to think of it, its quite a selfish behavior that I had. That I’d rather no one had it than let my own sis have it. oh well, ppl grow yea. ppl learn. I dun wanna b evil. There’s always this evil in us that we suppress, the yin and the yang always exists yea. just in different proportions, depending on how we control the ratio. ;) ok, its 4.57pm. shall really stop here. byee!

slashed at 4:49 PM .

Sunday, May 04, 2008 .

had a weird dream last nite. Lol.. Here goes. I was sitting with a few others, around 20 – 25 people in all, at these canteen tables. The place was small. About 9 x 15m. one 15m side had a gap between 2 walls, for people to walk in and out, the other 15m side was open, where you could see a green field, with a few trees. These were people sitting at the tables, and after a while, I decided to leave. I stood up and went to the bench where the bags(those that you carry on your back) were, and found mine. there were 5 red pegs on it. horizontally, equally spaced out. The other bags had red clips too, and all were nicely placed, such that the line made by the red pegs on one bag connected with the line made by the red pegs on the others. I saw a friend there, and asked him what’s with the pegs. He said it was some fable of sorts. I plucked out one peg. But couldn’t be bothered to remove the others. Then I walked out of the field, there were more trees art the ends. Then there was a pathway. Concrete path, about 1metre wide, visibly extending for about 2-3metres. There was grass on both sides. Dark green grass. And huge trees extending their branches with dark green leaves. The path ended in a drop. There was a steep drop, of about 2kilometres down. The ground below was covered in grass as well. it looked like another piece of green land. I don’t know why, but I took a step into the air, and fell below, my breathing was kind of constricted, and my heart skipped a beat. The fall was fast. And I landed on the green patch of land, 2km below, and rolled from a crawling position to a flat position on my stomach, before pulling myself towards the edge of the green land, and looking down. I saw clouds, and a city below. Which meant that I was on a piece of land floating in the air. I put myself in a sitting position, legs on the edge, and fell from the land, down, few hundred kilometers below. The plunge was too great for my heart, and it kind of stopped, whilst my breathing was reduced to just a deep breath going deeper. I was not exhaling. So the breathing stopped at one breath in, until the point in time that there was a need for air, then the breath was deeper. Simply, I completely forgotten how to exhale. I passed out, and the next moment, I found myself in a hospital, a Chinese hospital, with a kid in a same room as me, about 7 – 8 yrs old. The doctor said my legs were perfectly fine, just a few minor cuts here and there. There was a metal holder, shaped like a metal basin., held on a contraption by a string that worked like your measuring tape(the one construction workers use, yellow metallic tape that can withdraw and extend.). yea, it could withdraw and extend. Only difference was, when I push it upwards, it stays there in position, and when I pull it downwards it stays there too. a weird sort of mechanism. The doctor came in, talked awhile and left. I looked at the cabinet, and there was a plaque, that certified 天极医院 for having sent its workers to take part in helping out at the coca-cola factory, with 12,000 being awarded the top less than 0% people (meaning top 0.9 to 0.1% I think.) of the people who participated. Lol.. stoned awhile in my dream before I woke up. I remembered the kid telling me something about his parents but I kind of forgot when I woke up. Lol..

Went with godbro jiale to watch Ironman on fri. quite nice.. hahax.. I think muz b the movie tt gave me the inspiration for the dream. Lol.. went with justine last last week on thurs to ppcc to shoot. Shots were kind of bad yea.. but hope it improves. I’m going down this Tuesday. Dunno if anyone else wanna join me? Hahax.. a lot of ppl now treating me really weirdly. Like avoiding me and stuff. Dunno y ba.. I wonder if ppl have been talking behind my back and stuff yea. If it is, I wanna know who. And what it is that you’ve been saying about me. If its true, I dun mind. If its not, I think you need some clarification. And I really hope the one who started it isint someone I trust yea. or I guess its over. i’m in a really pissed mood now. Feel like killing and whacking stuff. Any robber game for a good fight I really don’t mind. Just don’t do it in sch or else kena white slip yea. lol.

and this is to the guy I detest: one more time you irritate me, you’re dead. I mean it. I’m going to make you drop on your knees and cry.

I got this website when I typed “天极医院” into google. LOL. only 2 results.

http://72.14.235.104/search?q=cache:dwMnUvgqO5YJ:book.ddvip.com/52170_2668995.html+%22%E5%A4%A9%E6%9E%81%E5%8C%BB%E9%99%A2%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=sg

slashed at 2:33 PM .

Thursday, May 01, 2008 .

Just making it clear yea.. I’m not pissed at who they chose. I’d deem them good rivals and capable leaders that I’d willingly allow to run the cca if I were to get less votes than them. cos if tt were the case, it means that the people that I am to lead do not believe in me and therefore it is their decision that they do not want me as a leader, then I will happily give up the place. Cos I know then, that I am not good enough for them. I’m just pissed at the ppl who din give me that chance to stand there and see for myself the choice that people make in their own rights. You’re scared that I’ll become a better leader than you isit? Nvm nvm.. I’m bttr now.. and you wun notice yea..

I’ll act just normal. And soon it’ll all pass over yea.. I don’t wanna have ppl out dere hu hate me.. cos zhiwei was right yea.. cca’s all abt love.. shldn’t have any internal conflicts yea.. I resolved mine le.. but I still hate the j2 exco.. but I love my j1 batch yea.. I’m thinking of whether I’ll go shoot tmr.. still thinking yea.. lol.. if based on skill alone, I wanna b the best archer there ever was.

slashed at 10:28 PM .