I'm not sure what to say, not sure what to do. can i just continue to be myself? please? my head's spinning.. i'm falling asleep and there's a phy test tmr. gd job. i can go kill myself.
found this on my ex-chem teacher's facebook post:
內在想法
*非常小心、謹慎的一個人*有些雙重性格，平常想得多、考慮得也非常多
*不容易隨意下定決心，有些龜毛
*害怕壓力，容易緊張
*有些紳經質，不容易相信他人
外在行為
*做事情一樣一樣慢慢來，討厭亂七八糟沒有規劃
*不怕吃苦，是個有責任感的人
*家庭觀念比較重，保護家族的意識強
*處事規規矩矩，不會投機取巧，是個好公民
*是個長輩眼中的好青年
from
http://www.fatemaster.tw/name.phpyes, i agree, it's scarily accurate. LOL..
anw, to my dear godsis, i din plan to keep whatever u have heard from u yea.. just tht of telling u little by little, maybe when time comes, n when time permits.. yea.. it's perfectly fine for you to know, but not for others with the capability of causing damage to anyone around me. and i won't let that happen. now that you know, you might be in quite a lot of unnecessary danger if some idiot comes by and decides that he'll find someone easy to use as a tool or a threat. and the last thing i want is it for it to happen because of me.
to my ex-good-friend, u better know what's best for you. this is not a threat. it's a warning. and you know perfectly well who i am. the dormant resources meant to protect may very well be used against those who threaten the safety of innocent individuals. i don't think we need to go into those extremes. i still value our current relationship as mere ex-classmates, and once best friends. may God guide you.
i remember my mum telling me not to trust anyone, about who i am, about what i do, about how i feel. i was taught as a child to keep these thoughts to myself all the time. i should have. cos the world out there is not for kind souls like us. we'll wither in the mad rush, die in the power struggles, and be slaughtered in the money chase. but i just had to find another soul to share my thoughts. and it did feel so much better. i gave in too much. i believed in the austerity of human nature, and that all men were taught and brought up as i was, to be gentle and kind, firm and strong, to hold on to our moral code, and to do what's right. but i was wrong. the world isn't like that. i just had to find it out for myself. and if i'm in deep shit cos of my misplaced belief in human trust, and its hurting my family, i'll put a stop to whatever problems that i hatched 3 years ago, by myself. sounds really like the maker of the walking zombie trying to kill his creation. wdv. it's frustrating. anw, whoever who isn't afraid to know more about who i am, ask me personally ba.. i'll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret. it's better than you getting info from an shithole who'll probably weave some stories to his advantage. cos that's all he does right? from then till now. hasn't changed one bit.
one thing a hate about myself, is not being able to spot good souls with 100% accuracy. need improvement in that aspect.. but i'm glad i have simjoo n victor by my side if i ever need to fall back upon anything. thanks yea.. friends come and go. but brothers and sisters last forever. love you both lots..
i got this feeling. one day, my life is gonna be a famous novel. too bad i don't have the habit of keeping a diary. hahax.
slashed at 10:11 PM .
