lol.. i din know you two were tgt leh.. u din tell me! hahax.. lol.. anw, yea.. my godsis zhiwei and my classmate/archery cca mate r tgt.. congrats yea.. yanwei's a nice guy so you've got a good pick eh? hahax.. take care! all e best! now i shall be more tactful when i see you guys tgt.. wun go crash ur table.. =) slashed at 8:54 PM .
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 .
Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out When a vast image out of Spritus Mundi Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds. The darkness drops again; but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? slashed at 8:07 PM .
To survive in this world, we hold close to us those people on whom we depend. We trust in them our hopes, our fears. But what happens when trust is lost? Where do we run when things we believe in vanish before our eyes? When all seems lost, the future unknowable, our very existence in peril... all we can do is run. slashed at 8:03 PM .
Where does it come from—this quest, this need to solve life's mysteries when the simplest of questions can never be answered? Why are we here? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. But that's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here. Yet still we struggle to make a difference, to change the world, to dream of hope; never knowing for certain whom we will meet along the way. Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand, touch our hearts, and share the pain of trying. slashed at 8:01 PM .
It is man's ability to remember that sets us apart. We are the only species concerned with the past. Our memories give us voice, and bear witness to history, so that others might learn, so they might celebrate our triumphs, and be warned of our failures.
There are many ways to define our fragile existence, many ways to give it meaning. But it is our memories that shape its purpose and give it context: the private assortment of images, fears, loves, regrets. For it is the cruel irony of life that we are destined to hold the dark with the light, the good with the evil, success with disappointment. This is what separates us, what makes us human. And in the end, we must fight to hold on to. slashed at 7:59 PM .
Generations unfold — father to son, mother to daughter. Where one leaves off, the other follows, destined to repeat each other's mistakes, each other's triumphs. For how do we see the world if not through their lens? The same fears, the same desires? Do we see them as an example to follow, or as a warning of what to avoid? Choosing to live as they have, simply because it's what we know, or driven to create one's own identity? And what happens when we find them to be a disappointment? Can we replace them? Our mothers, our fathers? Or will destiny find a way to drive us back? Back to the familiar comforts of home? slashed at 7:55 PM .
It's all happening so fast. My life is a speeding train and I'm not sure where it's headed. One thing is certain, I've been given a second chance, touched by God and I've got to believe that he has a purpose for my life. So why am I filled with self-doubt? Plagued by demons, real and imaginary? Frightened by the challenges ahead, and haunted by the ghosts of my past? Does God know what I am? Do I? Am I an angel, or a monster? A hero, or a villain? And why can't I see the difference?
In the ongoing search for self, there are days when we learn something genuinely new. Something uncovered, hidden, that we never knew was there. Something that surprises us. And on that day of self-discovery, the question remains: What kind of person are we? Does the hero, or the villain inside us, win the day? slashed at 7:52 PM .
In every journey, the traveler must ask: was the right path taken? Many roads are long and winding, filled with those who have lost their way. Some forge their own course, guided by faith, seeking not a location, but a kindred soul. Others step together, finding safety in the arms of another. A few remove themselves from the trail to avoid the path of temptation. But those who watch the track too closely fail to see where it led them, and are often all too surprised by their destination. slashed at 7:52 PM .
A child is born to innocence. A child is drawn towards good. Why then do so many among us go so horribly wrong? What makes some walk the path of darkness, while others choose the light? Is it will? Is it destiny? Can we ever hope to understand the force that shapes the soul? To fight evil, one must know evil. One must journey back through time and find that fork in the road, where heroes turn one way and villains turn another. slashed at 7:49 PM .
When the moon passes between the sun and the earth, strange fascination takes root in the heart and suddenly anything is possible. Its power is undeniable; its beauty, mesmerizing; its lure, biblical; its meaning, unknowable; and as quickly as it comes, it disappears, leaving us to dwell on our own insignificance in the face of God.
It starts with light and ends with light. And in-between there is darkness. Nothing there is beyond hope, nothing that can be sworn impossible. Nothing left unimagined since Zeus, father of the Olympians, made night from midday - hiding the light of the shining sun - and raining dark fear down upon man. slashed at 7:49 PM .
There's a moment in every war where everything changes. A moment when the road bends. Alliances and battle lines shift. And the rules of engagement are rewritten. Moments like these can change the nature of the battle, and turn the tide, for either side. So we do what we can to understand them. To be ready for change, we steady our hearts, curb our fears, muster our forces, and look for signs in the stars. But these moments, these game changers, remain a mystery. Destiny's invisible hand, moving pieces on a chess board. No matter how much we prepare for them, how much we resist the change, anticipate the moment, fight the inevitable outcome, in the end, we're never truly ready when it strikes. slashed at 7:48 PM .
There is good and there is evil… right and wrong… heroes and villains. And if we’re blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through. We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made… when meaningless existence comes into focus, and our purpose presents itself. And if we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us is our own reflection, bearing witness to the duality of life. That each of us is capable of both the dark and the light… of good and evil… of either, of all. And destiny, while marching ever in our direction, can be rerouted by the choices we make. By the love we hold onto and the promises we keep. slashed at 7:46 PM .
On the sixth day, God created Man in his own image. Now it’s up to us to figure it all out. Right... wrong… good… evil. In each of us is the capacity to decide what drives our actions. So what is it, then, that makes some choose selflessness, the need to devote themselves to something greater, while others know only self-interest, isolating themselves in a world of their own making? Some seek love, even if unrequited, while others are driven by fear and betrayal. There are those who see their choices as dark proof of God’s absence while others follow a path of noble destiny. But in the end, good, evil, right or wrong… what we choose is never what we really need. For that is the ultimate cosmic joke. The real gift that God has left behind. slashed at 7:46 PM .
For every being cursed with self awareness, there remains the unanswerable question. Who am I? We struggle to find meaningful connections to one another. We are the caring friend, the loving father, the doting mother, the protected child. We fight and we love in the hope that somehow, together, we can understand our significance in the universe. But in the end, no one can share our burden. Each of us alone, must ask the question. Who am I? What does it mean to be alive? And in the vast infinity of time, how do I matter? slashed at 7:37 PM .
We are all connected. Joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. Empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. An assortment of thoughts, beliefs. A collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without this? Can you be you? And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives. To find. To connect. To hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. Capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities. slashed at 7:33 PM .
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 .
there are nearly seven billion people on this planet. each one, unique, different. what are the chances of that? and why? is it simply biology, phisiology, that determines this diversity? a collection of thoughts? memories? experiences that carve out our own special place? or is it something more than this? perhaps there is a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. something unknowable that dwells in the soul, and presents each of us with a unique set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are. slashed at 11:22 PM .
God of eternal promises,
you have been with your people
in all times and places.
You have called us,
and we have responded.
Open us to your life-giving grace.
Empower us with the faith
that supports us when we feel unsure,
that dares to challenge things that need to change,
and that always reminds us
you are never, ever far away.
From a friend's blog. God, do you hear your people cry? Why don't you help them? Why do you always leave us to help others whom you abandon? Help them, help us. Because we just might not be able to hold out much longer.
slashed at 11:01 PM .
Monday, April 27, 2009 .
heyz, to sb who maybe might pop by. hey.. if you're feeling down, and need someone to talk to, you can msg me or call me or sth k? i must say you look really emo and out of sorts tdy. are you ok? u didn't even laugh anymore yea.. is sth troubling you, if there is, i'd see if i can help k? don't keep it within yourself, you'll burn out.
oh, anw, thanks waiian for your maths booklet.. hahax.. i've copied all e way to sampling le.. (even before the lecturer has gone there.) now can self study and catch up too.. =) good use of time eh? having chem spa tmr, shall go hurry and finish up my chem tut.. lol..
hahax.. my plan for the next year archery exco is working. and 2/3 of the people installed are my people. kudos to me. i shall now implement my methods of breaking the screwed up trend of having such screwed up ppl lk our previous chair and vicechair, and the f***ed up quartermaster. had to exercise self restraint to prevent myself from smashing her.
anw, i invented a new move. i call it the arrow fist. 箭拳. yes, it is just one move, not a sequence unlike how most ppl might interpret. it uses the occidental archer's form as the main base form, and we can treat the right hand as a launching arrow, with the fist curled into a form whereby the thumb presses against the first two joints of the first 2 fingers. so basically, it's the usual 3 fingered draw, just that this time, the 3rd finger (usually below the arrow) is not part of the execution. the flow is swift and quick, replacing the left hand which is initially covering the target. note that this has to be used in finality in a duel, as it does not have a followup if your target dodges. yups.. hahax.. 2nd move invented by me. quite a good pasttime eh? =) slashed at 8:03 PM .
slashed at 7:20 PM .
Sunday, April 26, 2009 .
gah.. i needs sleeps! so tired the whole of yesterday.. and friday.. slept 4 1.5 hrs in the library cos there was no PE. hahax.. very nice feeling. hmm.. i've copied e whole maths lecture all e way to sampling.. (thanks waiian) ok, i gonna mug chem, phy, and econs.. like now.. super bz.. gosh.. lol.. slashed at 12:13 PM .
Thursday, April 23, 2009 .
hi world. i've got a new godbro and godsis.. conan and jiaying.. cute couple. shall teach them all tt i know.. i'll help u if i can yea. it's nice to see ppls so loving.. hahax.. oh wells. sometimes, i do wish. =) slashed at 10:12 PM .
Sunday, April 19, 2009 .
i need to manage my concentration better. at this rate, i'll never get things done. some things needa be sacrificed, and it's time to face what we have to. and we'll face it with whatever we've got. a blade, a knife, or just our bare hands and our minds. but we've gotta face up to things, and start moving on. life's going to change. i've only got 4 more months with you, do you regret it? i don't anyway. it's been nice knowing you. we'll take a picture and keep it as a memory, forever. and we'll move on with life. i've never regretted knowing you, i don't think i ever will. i'm going for the MAS scholarship, taking up business in NUS, and probably minoring in law, since it's my interest. you'll be taking business and law too rite? care to stay in singapore? you could teach me yea.. since you'd probably be in the 2nd or 3rd year by then.. hahax.. time flies. i want to play another game of pool with you. and let's share another drink before our time together ends. slashed at 10:42 PM .
u know what, i don't give a shit about who the antichrist is.. and how we are all going to suffer and die.. i just know that i don't really like to suffer long term, and it's either i go bust the shit out of that man of sin if he ever comes to life and kill him, or i die doing that. and there are many people who think like me anyway.. so no problem. he's a gone case. don't think so much k? the only way the world can end in 2012 is when kim jong il passes on and the nuclear arms are passed on to his sons who use them to prove their worth to the people by using them.. and probably throwing the world into another chaos.. not very fun eh? but life goes as suddenly as it comes. why do we think so much?
" slashed at 2:11 PM .
then again.. i don't know why i miss you. slashed at 1:51 PM .
i think again and i don't wanna hurt anyone. =) 4 weeks before i leave to mug hardcore.. hahax.. i'll miss everyone.. i need a rest. i think i love too many people. and if i go on with this i'd probably end up a melted candle. oops.. chem spa is killing me. and the workload is killing me too.. =( slashed at 1:36 PM .
You are a Romantic Genius. Your romance IQ is perfection! You are dreamy and seem to be gifted with sensitivities that most do not possess. Your heart is pure and full of true love. You treat your lover like a one-of-a-kind gem and everyone else is so jealous!
You are part Hiro. You are everyones favorite Japanese tourist. Your time is well-managed and you make sure things get done. On top of that, the girls always want a second chance with you.
You are part Sylar. You are very aggressive. You like to pick fights and play mind games. You've got it coming.
You are Peter Petrelli. You have the awesome ability to use other people's powers. Most people wouldn't pay any particular attention to you, but you have always known that you were meant for things greater than what you currently have.
back to those busy days... tht of crashing chem remedial, vic's idea, but turned out that the classes had started. so kinda couldn't. anw, i'm gonna crash econs remedial. need to yea.. i'm behind schedule, and i'm tired. turning in now.. gdnite. :) slashed at 11:34 PM .
Friday, April 10, 2009 .
"why, Mr Anderson, why? why do you do it? why, why get up? why keep fighting? do you believe you're fighting for something other than your own survival? can you tell me what it is? do you even know? could it be for freedom? or truth? perhaps peace? maybe even love. illusions, Mr Anderson. vagaries of perception. the temporary constructions of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. and all of them as artificial as the matrix itself, though only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. surely you can see it by now, Mr. Anderson. you can't win. it's pointless to keep fighting. why, why do you persist?"
I find it hard to answer this question. i don't know. God, if you can hear me, please do help me out k? i'm burning myself out trying to help others, and no one is helping me. anw, thanks for the A for PW. thanks yous.. (:
uploaded this pic just 4 fun.. cos my cousin said it was quite unique and it looked cool. LOL.. hahax.. my parents brought the family out for lunch tdy at turf city's owen restaurant.. it's a subset of ah yat.. (but of course, ah yat is a $$ eater, and the food isn't tt good..) hahax.. anw, it was quite a nice meal.. hahax.. to celebrate my mum's 9k win in the stock market.. lol.. a lot of work ba.. but it pays off i guess.. hmm.. gotta go mug soon.. chem spa and phy spa coming soon.. saw leo's blog ytd.. hahax.. sujin, you look nicer in ur RGS uni la.. yea, CUTER. you're not so cute in RJ uni can. slashed at 4:20 PM .
Wednesday, April 08, 2009 .
i am so bloody pissed at myself and my grades. well done. i kinda f***ed up my subjects with tad lot of f***ing careless mistakes. i shall take great care in not swearing. ok. got back math le. got a 69.2%. 2 f***ing marks lost due to not writing modulus TWICE. F***. another 4 marks lost for writing the -x as x in the VERY FIRST QUESTION. F***. i hate myself for being so careless. i should go kill myself la. but i hate blood. and i hate gore. carbon monoxide poisoning is the best way out. f***. ok, i must thank god for letting me get a B for GP. 66%. and i wrote out of the singaporean context. HAHA.. yay.. i like my language marks. hahax.. maybe tt's the only consolation.. thanks eileen for your consolations.. though you'd never find this blog yea.. but yea, thanks a lot. i feel much better.. i'll just think that i got an A for maths. i shaln't care about what my teacher says yea.. it's too pressurising to be the 1 of the only 2 Bs in the class. i'm just not a maths guy. and i scraped A. I DID. i don't give a f***ing damn about what you think and how easy the f***ing paper was. f*** off. anw, thanks eileen, though i know that the marks may not be rounded up, i kinda liked to hear you telling me that it would be.. hahax.. yea.. thanks alot.. and i shall live in the delusion that you gave me. chem and physics were expected grades ba.. got Bs.. guess it's kinda fine.. econs was expectedly screwed, but i dun blame myself, cos i did my best WITHOUT careless mistakes. oh man.. i actually had one, that would have given me a C instead of a D for econs. but nvm, it's my fault for not mugging well enough for econs.. gah.. i feel so burned up.. conan and jiaying were asking me why my hair started to turn white.. --__--" so fast within days of CT then turn le ah?! siao la.. i must somehow control my emotions n stress levels. although it's not possible to control both at the same time.. cos emotions if kept within me gives me extra stress. great. shall do my complex 2 tut now.. i need a break. if god won't save me, i will. slashed at 9:20 PM .
Sunday, April 05, 2009 .
god, why do you take the people whom i care for away from me? i've got two close friends of mine.. one who's infatuated with you to neglect her studies and the other who thinks that you're gonna let her burn in hell and so becomes so sucidal that things get scary. now, what's going on? god, i've been a changed person, i've fulfilled my end of the bargain.. to help those around me.. and is this how you fulfill yours? god, is it possible for me to have friends and yet score well in school? it happens over and over again.. just like in pri sch.. god, if i believe in you, then please help me make things right. i don't want a test of my will. i'm tired.. please stop testing me. for i may one day give up and break, cos as much as you may think i'm not, i'm still human, not your ideal angel. but i'll still try to rid the world of evil and madness, and do it for my heart. have mercy on me.. i hate you for testing me. i never liked it. and what am i supposed to do now? slashed at 11:11 AM .
Thursday, April 02, 2009 .
ok. me shall stop flowerpotting le.. although i kinda like the feeling when your hand touches mine.. and stays there for the next minute or so.. oh wells.. i'm so confused.. but i guess we could stay as friends yea? close friends? i've got As coming up.. and though i'd like to be with you, i needa be with my books too.. and i know this relationship is only gonna be temporary, till june? cos we won't be seeing each other again for quite a long time.. before i break for my As, i wanna hug you, go out for another few drinks, and take few pictures with you.. then i'll be able to leave for mugging in peace.. i'm so afraid i might just forget some people in my life close to me.. especially when i don't contact them for a very long time, or when i'm preoccupied with my mugging or work.. just sth to say..
just a little message to you if you know you're the abovementioned person: you're dear to me.. i like you too, but i've only known you for 3 months.. that's a rather short period of time.. i don't really show that i like you, i act nonchalant on days.. but that's cos i've an outer appearance to keep.. i'm sorry if i've hurt you k? i'm not rejecting you, i'm just trying to control my emotions from getting the better of me.. you don't really know much about me yet, so i don't want you to regret k? actually, i would love to have you as my godsis.. hahax.. but the thing is that, i don't love you in the same way as i love my godsiblings.. it feels different.. here's a piece of truth, in case you can't tell it, but i give people a cold appearance so that they won't have a chance to enter my mind and mess up whatever fragile stuffs that are inside.. i keep alot of secrets.. some kept to keep the people around me safe.. some kept to keep myself safe from fake friends.. some secrets kept to protect you from me. i'm not as good as i appear to be.. i'm just living that ideal life that my parents want of me, that my friends want of me.. someday, maybe you'll get to know me better.. but sth you must know, is that i've never regretted liking you. ever. =) and maybe for the rest of my life, i might just do smilies this way.. (: instead of the :)
and gosh.. you damn wad leh.. when i said "i called your phone so that you could feel the vibrations" i was totally meaning that so you could find it easier. really! omg.. v funny meh.. u ah.. i really nth to say.. all your fault that my image of a pure and innocent person is not tarnished.. hmph.. trust you to think of such connotations.. --__--" wad kinda mind do you have.. HAHA.. although 40% of what i speak contains puns, it isn't true for everything! =) slashed at 10:42 PM .
