hmm.. v tiring day. bz and such. GP's this wed. gotta mug hard.. lol.. i think i'm thinking a lot these days. don't know what's getting into me. guess it's the stress ba.. a lot of emotional fluctuations..
i'm getting a greater sense of self-awareness.. kinda can have the view of myself from the side and the back when i'm walking in down the basement stairs. can somehow see how i'm seen in another person's eyes.. dunno ba. maybe the stress is getting into me.
oh, anw, 3 of my 5 investments got into the exco for archery ba. and the chair and vice is probably are 2 out of the 5 nominees, 4 of which are my investments.. yea. means no matter who you choose as cap and vice, one of the 2 will have to be my investment. HEH. you lose. maybe one day i should just enter politics man.. i can talk and act my way selectively into positioning my own people into positions of power, all within the rules. guess if i'm a politician i'd be able to futher my ideals really easy. just pluck a few of my own men into key places, and control the government gradually. not very difficult since i've started at only 18 yea? =)
well, i just wanna see e club functioning well ba.. i don't wanna see it screwed up. yea, i once said i'd heck care abt the club and its functions since i'm not cap, and just leave it to rot, or maybe help the rotting. to make them realise how important i am. but turns out, i can't bring myself to do tt. well, people get angry sometimes, especially when you lose due to just purely biasedness. and when you get angry, you lose your mind. in that state of mind, i could have just got some guys to knock someone off. (yea, saved T's dad in sec4, and his guys do that kinda stuff.) oh wells, i guess i just couldn't bring myself to do it yea. and as much as i said i hate the club, i actually don't. in fact, i've always loved archery. loved kendo and kyudo since ages ago. i'll never bring myself to hate the sport just because i can't lead the team to greater achievements. i not going to comment on the current cap. he was chosen and so yes, i shall respect the eventual decision of the past exco. but just remember, LJW, if i ever see you applying for a job somewhere in my company or my friend's one, or if i ever see you on the streets in the business world, i'm gonna make your life a living hell. you just wait. i hate backstabbers. they just ought to rot in hell and die over and over again, painfully and slowly. so there.
anw, i guess i still do feel as much as i did for the club yea. i still love the people, my batch, and just sometimes when i see some people, i just blame myself for being so incapable. and because of that we're not as bonded as i wanted all of us to be. and then everyone who voted for me gives me that same reminder. i've failed cos i wasn't hard handed enough. turns out that he who is chosen by the people may not be chosen in the end. well, the reason for me placing my own people in the exco is cos i don't want it to end up like my batch. friendships are the most important yea. if everyone wants to come to training because they've an attachment to the club, then we've no problem with the attendance yea? a chairperson who has to rely on authority and shouting at your juniors has just basically failed in his duty. people have to want to listen to you and ask for your words, and not you forcing them to listen to you. force is the tool of a failed leader. well, i can now ensure the next batch will be a good one, provided all my inventments keep to the plan, and stick to their morals and way of doing things. hail the chaotic good. yes, lawful evil and lawful good can go shoot themselves in the head. my puppets will own you upside down.
well, something about empaths is that they can feel your emotions without you telling them verbally, and think the same thoughts as the person they talk to, without the person having to verbalise his opinions.. hahax.. lk my godbro conan.. din expect to meet sb who experiences life the same way as i do.. yea, that's how i know what you did during the discussion after the interview. for a while, i though everyone was alike. turns out that we're not. thanks conan, we should go form a semi-psychic club or sth. msn with you just ends up with many double messages. yea, exactly the same message sent by you and me at e same time. how fun. heh. but talking to jiaying just fries her brain.. =) or chui jiaying will change her surname back to toh then you know. HEH. =P
well, once you can read people's thoughts and emotions, life kinda becomes a chess board. and the people around you become many people playing their own game of chess. just that this time, the people playing chess can end up as a chess piece on your board, and vice versa. yea, and bearing in mind that there are not just 2 people playing chess, but many people at the same time. every move becomes so predictable, that life starts to lose it's meaning. well, you play a board game and you get really bored. HEH.. get the pun? =) oh wells, that's probably the reason why my cousin advised me against trying to read people's minds. well, it's interesting yea.. lk matt parkman from heroes. hahax.. maybe one day you'd become as pro as him. =D but of cause, we might just lose ourselves in the midst yea, lk Icarus who flew too close to the sun, melted his wings and fell to his death.
i just want a normal life. yea, i'll have one. just after i'm done with installing a better future for my juniors. i'm suspecting JK as treasurer, which isn't such a good thing considering her character. don't believe me? fine. wait and see. but i'll make sure you won't screw up the club. so long SF and B can get a good standing, W can push the line mildly, and defuse any opposition or selfish ideals. there is no self in a team. everyone should work together, trust each other, as fellow brothers and sisters of the kyudo art.
oh, was chatting with E just now. yea, you know what, i wasn't actually interested in your crush. just testing if you trusted me enough. well, you failed the test.
slashed at 7:41 PM .
