And it’s a goddamn f***ed up day. f***ing pissed and I don’t give a shit if you’re thinking I’m just being vulgar. Go kill yourself. Smash your head on some wall. Till the blood trickles. Till the brains spill out. f*** off. I’m damn f***ing pissed. Ok I’m using Microsoft word to type this out, and at the end of the post I’ll just change all the vulgarities into asterisks. Goddamn go to hell. Yea, I smashed a wall. Feel like whacking up some unlucky fella who happens to rob someone. Or maybe I should just take a walk down the street and smash some gang up. f***.. it’s just that it’s too peaceful here. no crimes, no f***ers to f*** up.
Ok, want to know wad happened? Sounds stupid, but yea. it’s true. Ok. this boy comes home from school. And everything seems fine. Then he opens his cupboard to find that his mum has thrown away a few of his pens. Yes. f***ed up. since young he’s already told her not to touch his things. But she just wants to place her f***ing ideals unto him, about having less clutter, doing away with the past, throwing away unnecessary items, should always look into the future. so she has been throwing away his things from his cupboard since lk pri sch. and each time she did tt, he’ll fly into a rage, smash things, destroy a whole bunch of stuffs, and she’ll stop. And then she’ll forget, and the cycle will repeat itself again. once even, he was just in p2, when he stabbed her thigh with a pencil. The lead got stuck in her leg. And it’s still there now. yea, he felt guilty and cried after he realized what he was doing. He vowed never to harm her again, cos she was his mum. but time passes, and she never learns, and she starts to f*** up his life again. after all these years, you still don’t know your son. At a young age, he cried when you burst a balloon, or tore a newspaper. Doesn’t that tell you something about him? not everyone is this world is as materialistic and money minded and practical as you. you’re pragmatic, and you don’t care about feelings, but just happens that your son is, and he’s a good one at that. He can feel for inanimate objects.
Yea, one of those pens, E gave it to him at the bookshop. Said it was nice to use. And ever since then, he’s been using that same model. He’s never changed the model since the start of the year. And you just had to throw that pen away. Yes, he knows there’s no use for it, there’s no ink. But what gives you the right to open his cupboard, look at his private stuff when he’s not at home, and worse still, throw them away? f*** you.
My knuckles are red. Smashed the wall too much. Keep this up and I think I might just go mad one day. All the stress from work to do well, to make you and dad proud, and you come and give me this shit. Goddamn you. f*** off. Get out of my life. I don’t need people to hurt me time and again. not you. why can’t you be like other mums, just leave their children alone, let them do what they want, craft their own niche in life. Seek their own path. stop forcing your children to be like you. I don’t want a simple life. I want a life that’s meaningful. All you care about is money, but ask yourself this, are you truly happy?
I’m just damn pissed. Anger. Hatred. And all sorts of evil thoughts you can think of. Hatred. I hate you. get the f*** out of my life. Thank ms word. It tones down the anger in this post.
Yea, the more you force me to study, the less I feel like studying. Get lost. I could have studied more without you forcing your ideas unto me. Get this straight. I am not you. so f*** off.
