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    Sunday, July 19, 2009 .

    “Your self-devotion is abnormal. You do not try to save others at the cost of your own life. You simply do not consider your own life at all.” Had a weird dream. Really weird. But somehow, does make me remember of the visual novel Dlu sent me. Story from fate/staynight. Dreams sometimes have messages. Especially when you don’t usually dream, and haven’t had a dream since lk last year. (yes, I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I don’t dream at night usually. It’s just blackout till morning. lol..)

    A Story of King Arturia.
    The knights had to follow their king from their heart. They suppressed their dissatisfaction with the young king, as they saw he was perfect.

    She tried to be an ideal king. Being an ideal king was the condition for their support.

    There was no room for the human, Arturia.

    A great knight who pulled out the holy sword, who did not age from that moment on, and one who won twelve great battles.

    The more perfect she was, the more people kept away from her. The longer she stayed that way, the more isolated she became. That was her true identity, but she did well.

    A king cannot allow her personal feelings to affect her decisions. She kills her emotions to make a decision, and the knights suppress their personal feelings to obey.

    The price of that was a revolt against the king. “King Arthur does not understand human feelings.” Nobody wanted her to be human, but they revolted against her because she did not have human feelings. They pushed all problems onto her and cornered her.

    But such trivial things are of no concern to a king. Her mind will not change even if she is abandoned, feared, or betrayed. Probably because she had made up her mind long before.

    She abandoned her emotions the moment she decided to pull out that sword. What did the girl think before that? Before she realized it, an unknown magus was standing behind her. “You should think this through before you grab that.” He says he is not trying to frighten her, but that she should stop. “You will not be human once you take hold of the sword.”

    He also said she would be resented by all humanity and die a miserable death. She could not have been without fear, because the magus showed her, the end she would face if she took the sword. But that just made the girl more determined. She nodded firmly, even when she was shown her future.

    The magus asked her if she was fine with that. “Many people are smiling. I do not believe it will be a mistake.” She takes the sword.

    The magus turns his back. “A miracle has a price. In exchange, you will lose the thing most important to you.” And leaves those prophetic words.

    The girl only wanted to protect everyone. But to do so, she had to throw away the emotion of wanting to protect people.

    She accepted it and pulled out the sword. She accepted it and swore to live as the king. The young girl decided to protect everything in exchange for her heart.

    She still chose to fight, even if there was inevitable solitary ruin at the end.

    slashed at 12:55 PM .