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Saturday, August 08, 2009 .

snowy and my dad's watch.. the only two things holding on to my sanity.. yea.. thanks dear jolene for snowy.. =) i guess the thing about me is that i'm just attracted to people who are there physically when i need them.. talk and consolation just doesn't work that well. i'm considering whether to remove her as a friend on FB, or block her on MSN. cos i can't stand the sight of her. i'm sorry, cos maybe she was more than just a fling for me. cos unlike you, our r/s didn't start out of gratitude, but it was more of a sort of spark. i'm just so frustrated inside.

to my dear jolene, i miss you. i don't give a shit what RJ thinks. i just know i can't live without love. i need a pillar to hold on to. i need someone i can rely on. i'm just not ready to live life on my own.

oh, and to tell the truth, yea sis, i kinda agree with you about the raffles connect twitter thing. i do appreciate that RJ's just like any other school. i like the J1 batch a lot. they're cool, bonded and dare to speak up to their teachers. they have their own sense of what is right and wrong, and they dare to stand by it. i like that. i like that strength that comes with power and unity. a unity that could even result in a massive walkout or a riot if the admin system stepped too far.

i'm not used to being oppressed by a stupid system that curbs our behaviours. yea, wanna know my record? i fought with a guy in sec1 over a misunderstanding in front of the DAS, kicked another guy 3m off in the middle of the school field in sec2 cos he decided to pick on me, threw a table across the classroom in sec3 at the projector that a classmate was aiming at me, and sec4? well, was quite a violent year, paralyzed a guy who tried to rob me, broke his accomplice's arm, and threw a chair across the classroom cos the sec1s couldn't shut up. and yes, i'm a PSL, level i/c for sec1 to 3, and VC. got a service award, and was awarded the reve grand award for my contributions to VSC. i'm a good and a bad guy. your ultimate anti-hero.

yea, welcome to my life. just be on the right side of it. i've like auto immunity for the next 1 wk, so if any idiot cares to get in my way i won't even need to lift a finger. maybe these are just one of those few times i'm really glad to have been born in this family. heck the idiots telling you not to kiss in the library or MRT. heck them saying that holding hands is wrong. cos this time, there'll be someone who'll whack the shit out of them, and yea, he has diplomatic immunity under singapore law, with violence condoned due to self-protection. somehow, it's kinda a blessing in disguise tt i've sprained my ankle really bad, and i've a really nice uncle with really too many ppl to spare. heh.

i needed it yea. thanks.. all this stress is getting into me. i just need to spend some time with you, jolene, and then i'll feel better. :)

slashed at 7:59 PM .