I’ve just broken a flowerpot. Haiz.
Rule number three. Never fall in love with the people you help. A stupid guy broke that rule. Yea, his own rule. And he’s now paying the price. Haiz.. it’s painful to tell someone you care about, and started to really love, that it’s best you both just be close friends, till the day you two can finally have the freedom to enjoy your days together and get to know each other better.
I guess it’s just the timing that’s the whole issue. it’s not the right time now since I’ve got my As, and I can’t spend much time with you. I feel it’s kinda unfair to you. and you say it’s unfair to me cos you’re the one who’s facing problems with your mum and all her restrictions, such that we can’t talk on msn, and can’t go out often.
And yea, I first started to like you cos I thought you’d wanna wait for me to finish my NS and we’d go to the same uni tgt. you’re breaking that promise we made. Really, I don’t see much in a r/s that both parties don’t get to see each other often. It just doesn’t work out yea. where would you be when I needed someone to comfort me? where would I be when you needed someone to comfort you? and could we even spend time together, and have memories together if we’re not even there for each other in the first place?
I told myself not to touch this blog till after As, but I just wanted you to know this, and since you wun reply my smses, I know you’ll drop by here. so just to let you know how I feel. We’ll stay as close friends yea? though I don’t want to continue this meaningless r/s, and I believe I’ve made you strong enough to move on and get a good life away from your mum’s restrictions as much as possible, then to that I shall believe that you have the courage to understand that this is really going nowhere. But I’ll never forget that I’ve once really fell in love with a girl just like that.
Yea, I won’t stop you from going to uni next yr, nor will I force you to go study harder to get into the same uni as I do. I’ve pushed myself beyond my own limitations, and I’m paying the price for it. you do know that I won’t be able to change my hair colour back once I push too far yea? and it’s not exactly something I’d want you to emulate. cos you’re different. you don’t have the expectations that have been weaved into your blood the day you were born.
you know, I’ve made a pact with something as arbitrary as the world. grant me the power to be able to become a good doctor, and I will save 999 lives in this lifetime. imbue me with the wisdom to become a good lawyer and I’ll fight 999 cases for the truth and just. and if I don’t get both, I guess I can only settle for business then.. though I dun really have much interest in it, but it’s something my parents want, so I can’t really say anth about it. but yea, you see, i walk a different path. I want something meaningful in this life, after all these years of chasing after grades, I want something to make me feel alive. Which is why I decided to help people. And was how I got to meet you. It wasn’t by chance, or through a friend. It was cos I just wanted to help you. Doing things my way wasn’t something you approved of, but it lets me know that I’m alive, and I can help the people who need it. I feel less of a grade achieving tool than I really am.
but you’re different. you’ve never had the need to feel alive, did you? but doesn’t it make life more meaningful? We all make our own decisions in life. and I think it’s really not possible to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t there fighting alongside you, and being with you thick and thin. It’s difficult.
But all this time, I’ve never regretted the times I spent with you, even if it were just for a few stolen moments. If fate permits, we’ll see each other again, and we could have a proper r/s once your mum grants you that freedom. but I want a relationship that’s isn’t built on water. We need to know each other well enough to really be tgt with each other. You’ll always have a place in my heart. we’ll continue to keep in touch, so do msg me when you read this, because I wasn’t saying goodbye that day. I was just a little frustrated, and told you the truth. But I guess you’d have to know it someday, wouldn’t you.
I’ve just wasted an hr of my time typing this when I should be studying. But I don’t regret this either. Yea, it’s cos you’re important to me. you’re different from the rest I’ve saved cos you were once part of me. I don’t like people who break promises, but I’ll forgive you. 456838.
slashed at 9:49 PM .
